10:00am
Back To The Future (1985)
1:00pm
Back To The Future Part II (1989)
3:30pm
Back To The Future Part III (1990)
6:30pm
Lip Sync Battle: Derek Hough vs. Julianne Hough
7:00pm
Lip Sync Battle: Stephen Merchant vs. Malin Akerman
7:30pm
Lip Sync Battle: Anne Hathaway vs. Emily Blunt
8:00pm
Lip Sync Battle: Anna Kendrick vs. John Krasinski
8:30pm
Lip Sync Battle: Salt vs. Pepa
9:00pm
Lip Sync Battle: Common vs. John Legend
9:30pm
Lip Sync Battle: Jimmy Fallon vs. Dwayne Johnson
10:00pm
Lip Sync Battle: Queen Latifah vs. Marlon Wayans
10:34pm
Lip Sync Battle: Mike Tyson vs. Terry Crews
11:04pm
Lip Sync Battle: Michael Strahan vs. Hoda Kotb
11:34pm
Lip Sync Battle: Derek Hough vs. Julianne Hough
12:04am
Lights Out: Lights Out: Road to Khan vs. Algieri
12:21am
Unrivaled: Amir Khan
12:52am
Lip Sync Battle: Salt vs. Pepa
1:00am
Lip Sync Battle: Queen Latifah vs. Marlon Wayans
1:31am
Lip Sync Battle: Stephen Merchant vs. Malin Akerman
2:01am
Lip Sync Battle: Anna Kendrick vs. John Krasinski
2:31am
Lip Sync Battle: Common vs. John Legend
3:01am
Lip Sync Battle: Michael Strahan vs. Hoda Kotb
3:31am
Lip Sync Battle: Jimmy Fallon vs. Dwayne Johnson
9:00am
Gangland: Army of Hate
10:00am
Gangland: Gangsta Killers
11:00am
Gangland: Blood in the Streets
12:00pm
Gangland: Road Warriors
1:00pm
Gangland: Everybody Killers
2:00pm
Gangland: Silent Slaughter
3:00pm
Gangland: Deadly Blast
5:30pm
9:00pm
Premier Boxing Champions: Premier Boxing Champions: Khan vs. Algieri

Killer Bear Owner Discovers Single Most Embarrassing Way to Die

by Dan Seitz   July 14, 2011 at 4:30PM  |  Views: 895


Meet Sam Mazzola. If the name sounds familiar, that's because Sam owned a private zoo that saw a caretaker get mauled to death by a 400-pound black bear. That sounds like a death we might feature on 1000 Ways to Die. But we'll be skipping how Sam punched his own ticket, since you can't show it on TV. Also it's kind of gross.

Mazzola was found dead in his Ohio home. That's not so bad. He was face-down on a waterbed. Still not that bad, you're thinking. He was tied to it with handcuffs, chains, and padlocks. Okay, that's kind of weird, but lots of people probably die like that. He was wearing a mask and a metal sphere around his head. Okay, that's pretty firmly in the realm of disturbing.

So, did Mazzola die of a heart attack from too much kink? No, he choked to death on what the police are only referring to as a "sex toy." Yeah. That's...pretty embarrassing. Just to finish it off, he was found by one of his employees. You know, just so that memory of their employer will be burned forever into their brains.

The Columbia Station, Ohio police, however, deserve some sort of award for keeping a straight face through all this. For one thing, they declared the circumstances of his death "not suspicious," which strikes us as a bit of a misstatement. Still, we'd imagine it's caused quite a stir, since it's not like people die a horrible death there every year...oh wait.

Photo: Janie Airey/Digital Vision/Getty Images

THE DAILY FOUR

SPIKE on facebook