The Top 10 Manliest Sports Moments of 2010
The dictionary defines "manly" as "possessing qualities befitting a man." But do you know what's not manly? The dictionary. So rather than accept its definition, we found 10 sports-tastic examples that personify what it means to be a man/aggressive lady basketball player with anger management issues.
Source: NHL Network Online
10. Ian Laperriere Successfully Blocks a Slap Shot with his Face
Taking a slap shot to the shin can sting a little. Taking one to the face hurts even more. If you ever happen to run into Philadelphia Flyers right winger Ian Laperriere in the “poor decisions” aisle at Wal-Mart, make sure you ask him about the difference.
9. American Military Man Makes Natural Progression into Gold Medal Bobsledder
Photo: Will Aggezio/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
When most army veterans are discharged from the service they have two very distinct career options available to them. First, they can use their extensive training to pursue vocational opportunities in the corporate world where many men in uniform routinely excel. Second, they can hurl themselves down an icy death-trap in a glorified tin can every four years in the hope of winning an Olympic Gold medal. Luckily for American sports fans, Steve Holcomb called in sick to his interview at Staples.
The 30-year-old Utah native opted for option two in the post-military career handbook and became an Olympic bobsledder after his discharge in 2006.
Four years later, with a decorated military past guiding him through the traitorous, icy paths of the Vancouver Olympic bobsled track, Holcomb shocked the world and gave the United States their first bobsled gold medal in nearly 80 years. It was a victory for America, the Olympics, and every military man who secretly wanted to choose the “icy death can” option on career day.
8. Two Players Fit Three Days Worth of Tennis into One Long, Entertaining Match
Photo: AFP/Getty Images
When John Isner and Nicolas Mahut met at Wimbledon, everybody expected a hard fought match that would produce a worthy victor. 11 hours and 183 games later, that’s exactly what happened.
After sitting tied at two sets apiece, the two entered a third tie-breaking set that would determine the eventual winner. Through six sets, the two remained tied and would be forced to enter the “win by two” extra frame format made popular in ping pong and midget tossing.
Normally, a winner is crowned when the first player reaches no more than 10 (maybe 12 if they’re feeling feisty) points. In this particular match, however, Isner and Mahut played 183 points (over three days) until Isner eventually won 70-68. Neither man gave up or let fatigue kick in.
It was hands down the gutsiest tennis performance off all-time (which, admittedly is not the strongest statement) and showed the world that unless you’re selected on the San Jose Sharks playoff roster, quitting is never an option.
7. Brian Wilson’s Beard Becomes the Most Popular Player in the World Series
Photo: Ron Vesequez/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
In high school, leggy blondes who wear slutty cheerleading outfits to football games are the most popular people around. In San Francisco, however, a grown man with a giant (Just for Men-dyed) beard and no evidence of regular bathing can’t walk down the recycling bin-lined streets without having a pair of organic cotton panties thrown at him.
Brian Wilson, who looks like he’s constantly gearing up for a Grateful Dead concert, became the poster boy (along with Marijuana possession arrestee Tim Lincecum) for the 2010 San Francisco Giants World Series win. His commitment to facial hair and yelling finally took the spotlight off of pretty boy pitchers like Randy Johnson and Pedro Martinez and placed it back onto the “guy’s guy” world of facial hair. It was a victory for both Bay Area baseball and men who want to play professional sports, but are far too lazy to shave.
6. Gilbert Arenas Exercises his Right to Bear Arms All Over the Washington Wizards Locker Room
Photo: Bennett Rayhn/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images
Gilbert Arenas kicked off 2010 in style when he borderline-threatened a teammate by ominously placing unregistered weapons into his locker. It cost him millions of dollars and a season-long suspension, but nobody ever tried to steal $50 from him ever again.
In case you don’t read the sports section or DC police reports here’s how a journalist at ESPN described it:
Multiple sources told ESPN.com that an argument commenced during a card game on the team's overnight flight back to Washington from Phoenix on Dec. 19 and escalated into a heated exchange between Arenas and Crittenton. The Wizards had Dec. 20 off, but sources say hostilities between the two Wizards guards resumed Dec. 21 in the locker room on a practice day.
Sources say that Arenas, in response to what was said on the flight, placed the three guns on a chair near Crittenton's locker stall and invited him to pick one before practice on Dec. 21. Sources said that Crittenton subsequently let Arenas know that he had his own gun.
The Washington Post reported in Sunday's editions that Arenas, according to sources, was expecting Crittenton to see the guns on his chair as a joke based on the earlier back-and-forth on the plane, during which Crittenton allegedly said that he would shoot Arenas in his surgically repaired knee. But Crittenton, according to the Post, reacted angrily and tossed one of the guns to the floor, saying he had his own.
What the report doesn’t say is that Arenas is back to making an eight-figure salary this year while Crittenton was sent off to play for the NBA’s least talented, just like the founding fathers had in mind when they scribed the Constitution.