The Top Nine End Bosses of the Internet
I’ve been battling on the internet for some time. And if you go on enough tours hurling blogsplosive devices at your enemies, you’ll definitely meet these end bosses of the internet.
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9. Spam Monster
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Did you know that in just 13 simple steps you can turn your feces into gold? That’s interesting because your secret crush already knew how to do that. However, she thinks your manhood is about half the size it should be, and that you’d be better off working from home making $40,000 a month. Just thought I’d let you know!
8. The Married Couple
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Oh, I’m just so happy to be starting my new life with the guy that I got together with after my gigantic break-up with the captain of the water polo team. I know people said it was a rebound, but now we’ve got these three beautiful kids (mostly on purpose!) and the overwhelming Photobucket accounts to prove it! Send us your addresses so we can get those holiday cards out to you!!
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Did you know that 9/11 was as fake as the Holocaust and that both were orchestrated by now-president Obama while he was working as a Muslim terrorist cell leader. But, of course none of that matters because you’re ugly and God doesn’t exit. If you agree with me I’ll post t**s.
6. Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris is so Chuck Norris that even this sentence is Chuck Norris. He’s such a boss of the internet that all the other bosses of the internet have to present TPS reports to him on a bi-quarterly basis. And, when they do, he throws coffee in their faces and screws their wives.
5. 9/11 Conspiracy Theorist
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You can’t afford to be this blind to your surroundings, man. You think Obama isn’t in on this? You think we’re safe now? He was part of the plan from the beginning. I’ve got some s*** you need to read, man. S*** that’s gonna blow your mind and make you join my commune in Santa Fe. We just got new wool ponchos!