Match 3: Vlad the Impaler vs Celt

December 7, 2010

Vlad the Impaler



Steel Crossbow.

Hand Cannon.







Kilij vs Longsword. Edge = Kilij.

Both have great slashing power, but with the minimum armor of the Celt, he will be chopped completely in half before he can get around the plated mail on Vlad.

Halberd vs Lancea. Edge = Lancea.

This was close, but due to the Lancea's longer range, and ability to throw, I have to give it to this weapon.

Steel vs Sling. Edge = Even.

With the horrible time of the Crossbow and the terrible range of the Sling, but pretty good accuracy for both, I have to make this even.

Cannon vs Burda. Edge = Cannon.

The Hand Cannon can club, just as well as shooting with BLACK POWDER, where the Celt has a short club only with steel strips on it.


A Celt is walking through a forest, until he stumbles onto a field of impaled victims.

"Holy shit. Whoever did this is messed up... A LOT!"

The Celt grunted from the horrible scene, and fearing he'd be next made him pull his shield up. He grabbed his lancea, and after a few minutes, he saw Vlad the Impaler.

Vlad shot off his crossbow, lodging in the Celt's shield. The Celt runs up with his lancea, and throws it as he tries to reload. The spear landed, gashing Vlad's arm. The spearhead barely broke through his chainmail, but he wasn't hurt much.

Vlad jumped away with his shield and sword, and soon the Celt was on him. The Celt slashed at Vlad's head with his longsword, but he lifted the shield just in time. He sliced with his kilij, only cutting off a portion of his shield.

"Damn, that sword goes through anything!"

Vlad took it as a compliment, so he sliced at his waist, but it just made a small cut at his stomach, as he had jumped away. He stabbed with his sword, hitting Vlad in the shoulder. He dropped his kilij, so he ran, and retrieved his halberd.

Since he had lost his lancea, and his longsword was too short for once, the Celt pulled out his sling, loaded in a rock, spun it around, and threw it. The rock was just an inch away from Vlad's head, but he ran up and swung his halberd. It took away his shield with the hook, and with the spear he stabbed into the Celt's leg. He fell down, and saw Vlad with his halberd, the axe facing him.

As Vlad swung, the Celt blocked with his burda, flipped it around, and threw away the halberd. But Vlad brought his hand cannon off his back, took a heavy swing at the Celt's diaphragm, and he was starting to die. But he looked up, seeing Vlad aim his hand cannon at the Celt's head.


The Celt's head fell back, and walking closer, Vlad sees the Celt's left eye punctured, and the huge ball made a hole in the back of his head. Vlad roared in victory, and after grabbing a large stake, he impaled the Celt, and walked back to his castle.

Vlad the Impaler: 684.

Kilij: 322.

Halberd: 299.

Steel Crossbow: 15.

Hand Cannon: 48.

Celt: 316.

Longsword: 151.

Lancea: 139.

Sling: 2.

Burda: 24.