Man Beats Five-Year-Old Son Over Poor Hopscotch Skills

July 15, 2010

A 46-year-old school teacher is facing felony abuse charges after allegedly beating his son over a poor hopscotch performance. In all fairness, witnesses did claim the child had a pretty rough game.

According to

Boone County Sheriff's Office investigators allege he beat his five-year-old son with a belt on the Fourth of July "because the boy was not playing hopscotch to his satisfaction."

Yup! There’s nothing more American than fireworks, hot dogs, and hopscotch-fueled parental abuse.

Christopher Robison, who is no longer in the running for “World’s #1 Dad,” was released on bond but been suspended from the school which pays him to encourage (not assault) young students.

No official statement has been given by the recess hopscotch committee, but play is reportedly set to resume shortly.

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