Okay, so we're not talking a three-day festival attended by Hollywood bigwigs, producers, and the Roger Eberts of the world. It's only an hour and it's in Minneapolis, but it's happening. And it'll likely be the first of many, because we can't seem to get enough of videos and pictures of cats talking in some bastardized form of 1337 speak.
So what is it, exactly, about cats? Why do internet memes and videos blossom with them? How come they're more prevalent than, say, dog memes?
Though it's tempting to come up with a simple answer like "because cats are awesome" (which they are), the real answer is a bit more complicated. There are a myriad of reasons why cat videos have replaced baseball as our nation's number one past-time…if by past-time you mean procrastination.
Part of what makes cat videos so fascinating is the juxtaposition between cats doing ridiculous things or being put in over the top situations and their naturally noble, graceful state. Whether they're sitting at the foot of your bed or on top of a pile of discarded clothes from earlier in the week, cats always look like they're lording it over you.
Despite their treatment as cuddly companions, domesticated housecats rank among the most ruthless and efficient killers in the animal kingdom.
Larger, More Expressive Eyes
Part of the appeal of cats is the fact that they have large, expressive eyes compared to most other domesticated animals. Their size and shape are distinct and striking, and cover approximately 84% of their entire face. I just made that number up, but it sounds real, doesn't it? That is because cats have big, awesome eyes.
Cats Don't Give A F***
Before there was gangsta rap and hip-hop bravado, there were cats. Cats are the originators of not giving a f***. They will knock things off your shelf, throw up on your carpet, and then bat at you as you walk by all while carrying a blank expression like it ain't no thing.
They Invented Parkour
One of the most popular forms of physical expression to arise in the last decade is parkour, a physical discipline focused on overcoming obstacles in one's environment. Conventional thought is that it originated and developed in France, spreading worldwide and exploding with the aid of faster internet connections allowing people to view videos of parkour feats at will. That line of thinking though is flawed, because it blithely ignores the fact that cats invented parkour when France was still just finding out about cheese. Thing is, too, that cats don't even do it to impress you. They're just trying to get from the top of the bookshelf to the couch to the window and back. For them, it's all pedestrian.
Personality can be defined as a collection of different facets that, combined, make up the whole of a person. That is enhanced when there is more variance, such as with cats. Cat behavior is wide and varied, alternately treating you as a cherished loved one and an awful nuisance that they have to tolerate in order to get kibble. Basically, cats are your best friend from seventh grade.Because Cats Are AwesomeOkay, I could go on, but this is the bottom line, isn't it?
And now, I present to you the All Access Weekly Cat Film Festival.
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Cat
McGuyver: The Cat Files
Catch the fastest five minutes in tech, gaming, and comics on this week's edition of All Access Weekly at midnight only on Spike.