Guess Whose Wife is Leaving Him

December 7, 2009

Ever hear that old Norwegian riddle “How many skanky women sleeping with your husband does it take in order to finally move out of the house you bought together while he was texting the 9/11 victim's spouse he was nailing?” Well, just over an hour ago Tiger Woods’ wife finally answered that question. Hint: it’s more than nine.
After Tiger’s 10th alleged mistress came forward earlier today (a classy broad the British papers describe as a “sex-addicted cougar”), Elin Nordegren decided to pack up her things and leave the mansion that Tiger allegedly had sex with mistress number six (the Vegas cocktail waitress) in while his wife and kids were otherwise engaged.

According to Woods’ neighbors, who could not be more thrilled with the barrage of helicopters circling their neighborhood for the last week, Nordegren left the family estate in Windermere, Florida, and moved down the street after suffering relationship humiliation usually reserved for fat girls and NBA wives.

Last week, it was reported that Tiger had successfully bought his wife’s silence and servitude for a $300 million settlement, but it appears that after a collection of women that look like they walked straight out of the casting room of Rock of Love 17 with Brett Michaels made her seem like a female version of Hilary Clinton, she has had enough.

Source: Stan Honda/AFP/Getty Images