1:30pm
5:30pm
2:00am
2:30am
3:00am
3:30am
10:27am
Wild Hogs (2007)
12:56pm
Happy Gilmore (1996): Happy Gilmore
2:58pm
Wild Hogs (2007)
5:27pm
Happy Gilmore (1996): Happy Gilmore
7:30pm
Dumb and Dumber (1994): Dumb & Dumber
10:00pm
Funniest Commercials of the Year 2014

The All Access Fantasy Fantasy Draft

by Kevin Marshall   September 13, 2013 at 12:00AM  |  Views: 443


Being a modern football fan can be tricky. There was a time when you could be happy that your team was ahead by 10 points without worrying about the fact that the opposing team's Wide Receiver hadn't scored a touchdown yet.

Unlike the old days where we could just pick one team and leave the rest to rot, our fantasy teams require us to follow every game on the schedule and be invested in pretty much every game. It can be exhausting. That's why last week we had The Talented Mr. Roto himself, Matthew Berry, in our studio to give our viewers some helpful tips for putting together a winning team and take some of the stress and worry out of the equation.

Unlike Berry, we can't tell you about sleepers on your waiver wire. We can tell you, though, who would be good to pick up for your Fantasy Fantasy team.

Yes: Fantasy Fantasy.

What is Fantasy Fantasy? Well, it's like Fantasy Football, except…well, with Fantasy! And let's expand that to include pretty much any and all speculative fiction – super-heroes, sci-fi, action-adventure, you name it.

Take a look at our prospective lineup.


QUARTERBACK

Starter: Captain Benjamin Sisko ("Star Trek: Deep Space 9") Most people would probably go with Picard, Riker, or Janeway. But what you need for your fantasy team is a guy who can take heavy hits, stand his ground, and improvise.

Source: CBS


Benched: Captain America (Marvel Comics) What he does on the field is impressive, but his true strength lies in his ability to inspire and lead his teammates. Unfortunately, that doesn't make him much more than a back-up QB on our team. Sure, he makes Iron Man better at his job, but if Iron Man's not on your fantasy team, who cares?

Injured Reserve: Professor Charles Xavier (Marvel Comics) A true leader, however his current status in the Marvel Universe is "deceased" (though we all we know how permanent death can be in comics). It's a good idea to keep him around just in case he comes back to life in time for the play-offs.



RUNNING BACK

Starter: A Giant Orc (Lord of the Rings) Orcs are bred for battle, which means they're proficient with a variety of weapons. Translation: they won't fumble, or at least not often, and they carry the size needed to plow through the defensive line and get those much needed extra inches.

Source: New Line Cinema


Starter: The Juggernaut (X-Men Comics) Nothing can stop him. Literally, once he's moving, he's unstoppable. That's his power. Why on Earth wouldn't you draft him? Depending on your league's scoring system, he should probably be your first round draft pick.

Source: Marvel Comics


Benched: Conan the Barbarian He's a great utility guy…if you can get him on the field. Unfortunately he has a tendency to go through long periods of inactivity.



WIDE RECEIVER

Starter: The Flash (DC Comics) He's the fastest man alive. Does he have the best hands? No, not really, but he's nearly impossible to cover and can go deep early and often.

Source: DC Comics


Starter: Jason Bourne (the Bourne movies) Incredibly resourceful, crafty, and can sneak into positions that the defense won't expect. He's always a step ahead of the C.I.A., so he should be at least three steps ahead of a Defensive End.

Source: Universal Pictures


Benched: Daryl Dixon (The Walking Dead) Always a clutch player, quick on his feet and aware of his surroundings. Unfortunately, he's coming off a pretty rough season.



TIGHT END

Starter: Riddick (Pitch Black, The Chronicles of Riddick, Riddick: Rule the Dark) What you need for this position is someone who has the toughness of a lineman but can also move. That's Riddick to a T. Or pretty much any other character Vin Diesel's played, with the exception of the lead character from "The Pacifier."

Source: Universal Pictures


Benched: Jon Snow (Game of Thrones) He's good for a few points if Vin Diesel isn't available, but he's a coach's nightmare (he knows nothing).



KICKER

Starter: Beatrix Kiddo ("Kill Bill") If you need a job done quickly and with 100% accuracy, she's the one you send onto the field.

Source: Miramax Films


Benched: None. It's a Kicker. Who cares? Do you even need a back-up? If it's that important to you, you can always pick up Snake Eyes from G.I. Joe on Waivers.



DEFENSE

Starter: S.H.I.E.L.D. (Marvel Comics) They protect the Earth from homegrown super-villains and extra-terrestrial threats, so keeping the opposition out of the end zone should be a snap.

Source: Marvel Comics


Benched: The Justice League (DC Comics) At times, they're the greatest collection of heroes on the planet. However, they go through spurts where injuries, departures, and other factors leave their lineup anemic at best. They're still a solid back-up team to have if S.H.I.E.L.D. is on a bye week, unless it's the week the Justice League is in Detroit. You don't want to be stuck relying on Aquaman and some kid that breakdances.


It's a great idea, but unfortunately we have no idea how we'd even go about scoring something like this.

For tips on a game that actually does exist, check out our recent interview with Fantasy Football expert and ESPN analyst Matthew Berry:

THE DAILY FOUR

SPIKE on facebook