The 20 Worst Artists of the Decade

October 5, 2009

There were so many crappy bands and artists to emerge in the last 10 years that it’s hard even to keep count. From watered-down pop to soulless rock, we're proud to bring you the 20 worst artists of the decade! Get ready to cover your ears, people.

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20. Kid Rock

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How many image changes can one guy go through? Not only did we have to live through Mr. Rock’s rap/rock crap from 2001’s Cocky and his 2003 self-titled LP, we also had to look on in horror as he attempted to embrace the country music scene as well. When Kid went on to his "Rock ‘N’ Roll Jesus" alter-ego in 2007 I really wanted it to be 2012 so the world would end as soon as possible.

19. Brooke Hogan

I don’t really have much to say about Brooke because her lack of vocal skills and bodybuilder-like physique have spoken epic FAIL volumes already. She can’t sing, she can’t dance, and she looks like her dad with fake boobs.

18. Britney Spears

Britney could never sing in the first place, but at least she was hot for most of her early career. Kevin Federline changed that s*** in a flash, though. Either way, from crappy songs like “Oops!... I Did It Again” to her abysmal performance of "Gimme More" at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards, it was apparent that Brit should never have had the opportunity to take the spotlight in the first place. I don’t care if she can work a stripper pole like she’s sucking on a lollipop, being good at portraying a slut should not command respect from fans.

17. Jonas Brothers

Does this really need an explanation?

16. Madonna

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With releases like Music, American Life, Confessions on a Dance Floor, and Hard Candy, it’s easy to see why Madonna crossed over in the 21st century from a respectable artist with a solid pop catalogue to a complete and utter joke. Madonna is very much in the same realm as U2. The woman should've bowed out a very long time ago instead of tainting her legacy with a string of mindless dance hits molded after the Euro club scene. I’ve said this before and I’ll say in again -- if I wanted to see an old lady roll around on the floor in tight spandex, I could just go watch my grandma get down at her aerobics class in Miami.

15. Baha Men

Even though they were just a one-hit wonder about 10 years back, Baha Men’s overwhelming suckitude cannot be denied. “Who Let the Dogs Out” might be one of the worst songs ever created, and the Baha Men are easily one of the most untalented groups ever to get a record deal.

14. U2

U2 has released three albums since 2000 and they've all been pretty horrible. Bono and Edge are like aging prize fighters who can’t take the hint that it’s time to bow out gracefully and let the younger generation have the spotlight for a bit. U2 has released some relevant music in the past, but their rule over pop music over the last decade has been anything but spectacular.

13. The Pussycat Dolls

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I can’t deny that watching a bunch of slutty chicks doing stripper moves while lip-syncing on overproduced dance-pop can be entertaining as a dude. The only problem is that the music is horrendous and the chicks in the group are unbelievably annoying. The video for “When I Grow Up” is pretty much the Cliff Notes for any young lady out there trying to become an up-and-coming stripper.  Little girls around the world don't need another reason to become a trashy slut.

12. Good Charlotte

I know I’m not alone here when I say how annoying I thought this band was when they first broke into the mainstream back in 2002. The irony is that they looked like a punk band and even did a few runs on the Warped Tour, but their music was just plain laughable. How in the hell can you have so many tattoos and play music for 12-year-old girls at the same time? Money can be the only answer. I can’t knock them for making some serious bread, but massive amounts of dollar bills cannot unmake you a poseur.

11. Tokio Hotel

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Tokio Hotel is by far one of the worst new bands in the past few years but I don’t think they're going to go away anytime soon. Their fans are sometimes even worse than the watered-down pop they release from their homeland of Germany. Okay, maybe not that bad.

10. T-Pain

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I would've put T-Pain much higher on this list, but the guy did contribute to “I’m on a Boat” and I can’t help but thank him for that. What I can do is heavily criticize the rest of his Auto-Tuned mainstream material. T-Pain has been throwing out an endless string of hollow hip-hop hits for years now and sound-minded music fans around the world really want him to stop. His success also "inspired" other artists like Lil Wayne and Jim Jones to start using Auto-Tune in their own songs. This was a very bad thing. 

9. James Blunt

Blunt’s 2005 hit "You're Beautiful" achieved widespread success in North America, ultimately reaching number one after 17 weeks. His record "Back to Bedlam" has sold over 11 million albums worldwide, proving that Midwestern housewives should not be allowed to buy music. It’s sad to think that this guy gets laid more than everyone reading this article combined.

8. Paris Hilton

Before you say "she’s not an artist," remember that this talentless brat released a full-length CD and actually had a song on the radio for a while. I’m not saying that makes someone an "artist," but it does put her side by side with some of the biggest names in music. Either way, “Stars Are Blind” is hands down one of the worst songs in the last 10 years, if not all time.

7. Nickelback

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In 2001, crappy Canadians Nickelback released Silver Side Up, and the world has never been the same since. With singles like "How You Remind Me," the band broke into superstardom and destroyed rock ‘n’ roll with each and every release. This band is so bad that fans will sit for hours just to get the opportunity to throw rocks at their stupid faces.

6. Black Eyed Peas

There are very few acts I despise more than BEP. Why, you ask? Because they went from a decent hip-hop group creating solid material to the sellouts of the century. The addition of Fergie took the group from respectable to pants-pissing. Instead of trying to push hip-hop forward, they went the pop route and stared pumping out wack jam after wack jam. I gotta feeling these clowns are gonna be around for another freakin’ century.

5. Limp Bizkit

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Do you remember what it was like when Limp Bizkit was at the height of their popularity? I do, and it sucked some giant-ass balls. Their popularity went down in the late-'90s, but Fred somehow stayed around for a little bit longer than most thought possible. Thanks, MTV. The band’s 2003 rendition of The Who’s "Behind Blue Eyes" is hands down one of the worst covers ever made, easily putting them at the top of the class of music’s worst. We could also do without hearing 2001’s “My Way” in any more WWE montage videos.

4. Creed

Even though the craptacular Creed album Human Clay was released in late 1999, the trainwreck that is "With Arms Wide Open" didn’t make its way into the pop realm until the early 2000s. This song hurt me then and it still rips me apart to this day. Creed single-handedly took the balls out of rock ‘n’ roll the second they started pushing sentimental pop garbage down the throats of their TRL fanbase.

Scott Stapp is also one of the worst singers rock has ever seen and his lyrics are a sacrilege to the genre. It sounds like he’s trying to imitate Layne Staley and take a s*** all at the same time.

3. Akon

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Listening to a song by Akon can seriously make you dumber. That can be the only explanation of how he's sold millions and millions of records worldwide. His songs are like musical poison, brainwashing young listeners the same way Scientologists sink their claws into gullible Hollywood celebrities. Every time I hear one of his songs on the radio I’m always baffled of how adolescent his songwriting is. Tracks like “Beautiful” and “Don't Matter” sound like they were put together by an 8-year-old girl.

2. Ashlee Simpson

People tend forget how awful Ashlee Simpson was as a singer, performer, and all-around artist. I shouldn’t even call the girl an artist in the first place. She had everything handed to her from day one, but Ashlee f***ed that up right quick. The girl couldn’t even come close to singing a legitimate note, and audiences around the world quickly noticed that she was heavily lacking heavily in the talent department. The now-classic SNL lip-sync mishap and performance at 2005 Orange Bowl half-time show are proof of that. Ashlee was a joke then and will be till the end of time.

1. Soulja Boy Tell 'Em

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The hate directed towards this kid started from day one and it’s seriously not going to stop until his exits the entertainment industry for good. If it wasn’t for the Internet, Soulja Boy Tell 'Em never would've gotten a record deal in the first place, but that’s besides the point. The point is that Soulja has constructed and released some of the worst music ever made. He took the basic elements of hip-hop and somehow devolved the entire genre in one fell swoop. Have you ever listened to his lyrics? I could fart better rhymes during REM sleep.

It’s great that a kid from an Atlanta ghetto was able to go from rags to riches overnight, but all he’s doing is turning hip-hop into a cartoon gimmick.

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