Soccer and Alcoholism, Together at Last

May 19, 2010

Fact: Alcohol makes you better at everything. That’s why a new beer-fuelled soccer league formed by the innovative people of Nairobi may help the small African nation become a serious threat to win the 2014 World Cup (or at least pass out in a pool of their own vomit in the stadium bathroom).

Described as a recreational soccer tournament that makes mid-game alcoholism a mandatory requirement for all participants, the Wazee Pamoja Open is a fresh new take on a sport that has seen very little success with its "Soccer… Less Boring Than You Think" marketing campaign.

The event itself is used to raise money for charity and is quickly becoming very popular, boasting attendance figures that rival the WNBA and junior high school fire safety assemblies.

Somewhere, Gary Bettman is holding the World’s Best Boss mug he bought himself wondering why didn’t think of this idea first.

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