Medellin Drug Cartel vs Nazi Waffen SS

September 20, 2010

BEGINNING ASSESSMENT: Colombia's drug traffickers that sent cocaine to Florida and Caliifornia, the Medellin Cartel, comes to war with Adolf Hitler's elite body guards, the Nazi Waffen SS.

MEDELLIN DRUG CARTEL:

SHORT RANGE: Machete.

MEDIUM RANGE: Mini Uzi.

LONG RANGE: M60 Machine Gun.

EXPLOSIVE: Car Bomb.

NAZI WAFFEN SS:

SHORT RANGE: Luftwaffe (sword).

MEDIUM RANGE: Mauser C-96 (full auto mode).

LONG RANGE: MP-28 Machine Gun.

EXPLOSIVE: Bouncing Betty & Flammenwerfer 41.

EDGES:

MACHETE vs LUFTWAFFE. EDGE = MACHETE.

The Machete is a sword better designed in slashing, where a Luftwaffe mainly consits on stabbing.

UZI vs MAUSER. EDGE = EVEN!

Both of these are handguns that shoot fully automatically, which is great for both.

M60 vs MP-28. EDGE = MP-28.

The MP-28 is a little better due to the fact that it doesn't jam as much as an M60. The M60 is also very bulky and slow, where the MP-28 is faster and quick.

CAR BOMB vs BOUNCING BETTY vs FLAMMENWERFER 41. EDGE = CAR BOMB.

The Car Bomb is obviously greater then the Bouncing Betty, and the explosion can take out a city block, much farther range then the Flammenwerfer.

BATTLE:

A large building opens up onto a sugarcane field where two Medellin Cartel members (out of six) are sent in with machetes to collect cocaine. As they walk on, one takes a step on unseen digged up ground, and he blows up. The other is only covered in blood, and he takes out a mini uzi. As two bullets fly pass him, he aims with his uzi and shoots. He sees a Nazi fall from the stalks. Another runs out with a mauser but his enemy was hiding. When he walked pass a tree, the machete came on the Nazi's neck. Cartel = 5. Waffen = 4.

The Cartel, still dressed in blood from his dead comrad, runs back towards the building to warn the rest. As he's in mid-sentance, he is shot in the back and dies: "Be ready! They're- AAAHH!!!" The rest of the Cartel pick up their guns and shoot back, hitting the Nazi. Another one comes out of hiding and blasts a flammenwerfer and hits two more Cartel members. Cartel = 2. Waffen = 3.

The two other Cartel's split up, and one finds a Volkswagon (Fun Fact: Adolf Hitler sponsored the Volkswagon) and connected a car bomb to it. The Cartel hides behind a tree a few hundred feet away, and he sees the Nazi with the flammenwerfer. He stops by the Volkswagon, and is blown up. The Cartel walks by the wreckage, holding an M60. He is attacked by a luftwaffe from behind, being stabbed in the kidney, through the stomach, and exiting the body on the other side. Cartel = 1. Waffen = 2.

The Nazi walks on, holding a mauser, sets it to full auto, and is ready to shoot. He meets up with the last Nazi that suprisingly was shot down. The last Nazi sees the last druglord run inside the building and he follows with his mauser. He opens a door, shooting all over. No one is inside. He walks in, heading toward another door. After walking fully inside, the Nazi sees a Jeep packed with cocaine. He picks up one of the cocaine packages, and mutters, "Adolf's gonna kill me if he knows I was doing drugs on the job..." He put the package down, turned and saw his enemy. Before he could raise and shoot, the Cartel pulled up a detonater and detonated the car bomb that was hooked to the Jeep. After the explosion, and dust settling, the Cartel picked his detonater in the air in victory. Cartel = 1. Waffen = 0.

MEDELLIN DRUG CARTEL: 527.

MACHETE: 108.

MINI UZI: 186.

M60: 192.

CAR BOMB: 41.

NAZI WAFFEN SS: 473.

LUFTWAFFE: 61.

MAUSER C-96: 145.

MP-28: 170.

BOUNCING BETTY: 8.

FLAMMENWERFER 41: 89.

ENDING ASSESSMENT: The Medellin Drug Cartel's greatest advantage was their training with Machete's that scored really great.

BEST PERFORMING WEAPON: The M60 was able to shoot out 192 deaths.

LEAST PERFORMING WEAPON: The Bouncing Betty only blasted and killed eight times.

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