Dimension Raises Dead Movies from Their Graves

September 25, 2009

Bob Weinstein's genre label Dimension is all about taking movies that once held a special place in our heart from the '80s and '90s and raising them from the dead. Anyone who's watched Pet Sematary knows how well that usually works out. From Scream to Scanners, there's a whole gamut of movies about to be undead.

Variety reports that the younger Weinstein has his work cut out for him. Neve Campbell has officially signed onto Scream 4 -- the Arquette family had already jumped onto that bandwagon in the hopes of becoming semi-relevant again -- though director Wes Craven is not attached at this point.

Spy Kids 4 (did we even need the first three?) is going to be written and directed by Robert Rodriguez and...wait for it...it's going to be in *gasp!* 3D! So for all you nay sayers who hated on this "kids" movie, you can just take your smarmy remarks to your room and watch your lowly 2D movies all by yourselves.

What else? Yeah, that's right, there's more -- I'm just getting started.

Halloween III is on, and yes, it too will be in 3D. Last we heard about this franchise, Rob Zombie was not attached to write or direct or get within five miles of the next sequel. Nothing has changed on that front.

Remember Children of the Corn? Well, it's no big thang if you don't because that's getting rebooted too. No word on how many dimensions this Dimension pic will have.

Now that David Cronenberg is remaking his own remake (is he as confused as we are?) of The Fly, it's as appropriate a time as it's ever going to be to hear that Scanners is getting a sequel. In 3D (looks like anything coming out of Dimension has a 50/50 chance of being in 3D). Which is odd, seeing as a sequel would make much more sense for The Fly and a remake would make more sense for Scanners.

Do you love cute, cuddly robots that look like Wall-E and terrifying demons from hell that want to damn your soul for all eternity? Good, because Short Circuit and Hellraiser are also getting remakes and sequels respectively. Wait a minute...wasn't Wall-E a remake of Short Circuit? Now things really are getting confusing...

Oh, almost forgot: Hellraiser's going to be in 3D. I'm starting to sound like a broken record.

Tired yet? Well, I've got one more: An American Werewolf in London will also be getting the Weinstein remake. Just what does Bob Weinstein have to say about this insanity?

I'm going back to doing what I do best. I'm heading back to my franchise films. These films are our strength, and we are committed to doing them in style.

No, he's committed to doing them in massive, Costco-sized quantities. Here's hoping even one of these films actually turns out half as good as the originals they were based on.

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