Ari Gold Cries Like a Little Woman

February 27, 2009

Jeremy Piven, the actor presently of dubious distinction who plays Ari Gold on the hit HBO show Entourage, is in a bit of hot water. Luckily his bodily volume of mercury is enough that he's aware of exactly just how hot that water is. Okay, so maybe David Mamet did that joke before (and better) than me, but apparently the Broadway League, not agreeing with the Actors' Equity representatives, put Piven on trial again yesterday. And they witnessed Piven cry like a baby.

Turns out not everyone is buying Piven's reason for leaving the recent Broadway run of David Mamet's classic play Speed the Plow. His excuse being, of course, that mercury poisoning made him too ill to continue his performances.

Now the Broadway League is under deliberations as to whether Piven's excuse was legit or not:

After hours of arguments, the joint panel of five actors and five producers couldn't agree whether to sanction the party-boy actor for skipping town last December midway through the play's run.

And during these long hours of talks, Piven did what any red blooded American would do faced with such adversity: he cried like a little girl. Twice! Yowza, guess all those years of theater and coaching paid off. That, or Piven's gone cold turkey on the ol' narcotics habit and he's really and truly feeling the pain.

No one ever said being a famous celebrity was going to be a piece of sushi. I mean cake.

Source: Bruce Bennett/Getty Images