Loser Hacks Woman's Facebook, Holds it Hostage for Nude Pix

August 10, 2011

It's a joke as old as the Internet itself: the Internet is for porn. And, in fact, there are a lot, like a lot a lot, of dirty pictures, movies, drawing, stories, and probably even downloadable sculptures on the Internet. But porn was actually beaten by social networking traffic recently, and now some shmuck has decided to combine the two.

Meet John Joaquim III. He wanted to get nude pictures of a woman. Instead of Googling it, like everybody else on the entire planet, he instead picked a woman that he personally knew, hijacked her Facebook and Gmail, and then demanded she take nude pictures of herself to have them returned to her.

Here's how retarded this guy is: the woman in question said that if the police weren't able to do anything, she would have just opened new accounts. But the police could do something, namely track down John Joaquim III, who apparently wasn't bright enough to cover his tracks very well, and arrest him for extortion. Also, his name is now forever tied to the term "Facebook pervert." That's going to look awesome on a job application.

Oh, and the young lady in question got her Facebook back. Next time, Facebook Pervert, just type in "naked women" into that little text bar in the corner. Everybody will be happier.

Photo: Justin Sullivan/Getty News Images/Getty Images