The Top 10 Signs Your Girlfriend's a Tramp

January 27, 2009

You’ve met the woman of your dreams. The two of you click in every sense. You spend all your spare time together and you’ve had the official boyfriend/girlfriend chat. The relationship couldn’t be more perfect, except for one nagging feeling - you suspect she's a slut.

Source: Warrick Page / Getty Images Entertainment / Getty Images

By Nick Coles

The following article does not represent the opinions of Spike TV or its affiliates.

 

10. She's Always Going to the Gym, Never Losing Weight

image

Source: Jamie Grill / Iconica / Getty Images

Going to the gym is the perfect alibi for skanky behavior. It gives your girl an excuse to be out of the house, to carry a change of clothes and get hot and sweaty. Also, she is less likely to raise suspicion when she returns home freshly showered. Guys don’t question this type of behavior because they like the idea that their woman is getting fit and staying in shape. But you should. If your girlfriend is going to the gym 7 times or more a week, then that’s a red flag. No one likes to work out that much, plus the body needs time to rest.

If your girl is working out everyday, then the pounds should be melting away. You should notice a difference in her weight. If you don’t, then there’s a problem. She either hording chocolate bars in secret or she’s whoring herself.

If you are still suspicious, take a look in her sports bag. The bag should contain sweaty, unsexy sports bras and track pants. If it contains lacy lingerie and chocolate body paint, then your girl is doing a different type of exercise.

9. She Works 'Nights'

image

Source: Steve Read / Stone / Getty Images

If your girl works at night and is vague about what she does or won't let you visit or call her – then she’s probably up to something. If she returns home in the middle of the night and smells like fresh flowers, then she’s probably not working in a bar or restaurant. She's most likely working the street, or some other dude.

Don’t think it doesn’t happen. In an article on hipster hookers, by Radar Magazine, one prostitute confessed that she has long term boyfriend who thinks she’s an event planner and is clueless that she’s a professional tramp. She admits "I feel guilty sometimes when I come home and he's asleep and I'm still wired from my night, but I always climb into bed next to him and try to fall asleep. When he wakes up he likes to touch me and make love, and that's when it hits me." So if your girl works at night, plan on visiting her, or better yet, surprise her.

8. She Smokes

image

Source: Lena Clara / fStop / Getty Images

There’s an old saying about girls who smoke – “if she smokes, she pokes.”  It is common knowledge among men that women who smoke are easier. As the Urban Dictionary nicely puts it “If a girl smokes a pack of cigarettes, that means she's simulating the act of sucking 20 little white dicks every day!”

Science also proves that women who smoke are sluttier. A study by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) found that those females who were current smokers or former smokers were “significantly more likely to have engaged in sexual intercourse than youth who had never used cigarettes.” So if you GF’s smoking a pack of Pall Malls a day, chances are she’s gotten around.

7. She Won’t Reveal Her Number of Partners

image

Source: Steve Smith / Photographer's Choice / Getty Images

As some point in a relationship you will have that intimate talk where you admit the number of past sexual partners. Girls usually start these types of conversations, because they love to know everything. If you initiate this conversation with your girlfriend, be prepared to be shocked.

Trampy girls go out of their way not to answer this question. They will use every trick in the book to get out of this awkward situation. They will change the subject, bribe you with sexual favors or ask you to answer first so she can answer with a number that's less that yours. This is a big warning sign.

According to a nationwide study by the CDC, the median number of male sexual partners for American women is 4. Only 9 percent of women aged 20 to 59 report sleeping with more than 15 dudes.  So, according to these statistics, if your lady’s number is over 15 she’s officially a member of the exclusive ho club.

Now, these surveys are generally useless, as we all now both sexes lie. Men exaggerate their number by doubling it and women halve theirs. Keep this in mind when you’re having that conversation.

6. She has a Tramp Stamp

image

Source: Simon Battensby / Photographer's Choice / Getty Images

Tramp stamps are a way for women to advertise their skankiness. These tattoos, located on the lower back, were first seen on exotic dancers, but are now more common on women everywhere.

A study by the Department of Psychology, University College London, London, showed that “tattooed women were rated as less physically attractive, more sexually promiscuous and heavier drinkers than un-tattooed women.” Dudes know that when they see a tramp stamp, it’s on.

The more angels, butterflies, hearts, dolphins, fairies unicorns or flowers the tramp stamp contains, the higher the odds she’s a slut. If it contains all of the above, then you’re in trouble.

5. She's British

image

Source: Getty Images

British girls are a lot of fun.  They have big breasts, like to drink and are also completely slutty. A new study by More magazine reveals that British gals have more one-night stands than women in Australia, France, the Netherlands, Italy and America. They are so slutty that they are worse than men when it comes to how many people they’ve had sex with. The survey found that “the average 21-year-old woman has had nine sexual partners, compared with men who on average have had seven.”  Something is not right in Britain.

4. She's Always Drunk

image

Source: Peter Dazeley / Photographer's Choice / Getty Images

Girls who drink are fun, but they are also considered easy. It’s okay if you hooked up with your girl at a bar and she was wasted. It’s not okay if every time you’ve hung out she’s inebriated. A friend of mine once dated a girl who would show up to a bar before a date so she could flirt with other guys and make them buy her drinks. This is not cool and a big red flag.

Alcohol makes women less inhibited, flirtier and more sexually promiscuous. A recent statistic shows that “teens and young adults who use alcohol are seven times more likely to have sex” than non-drinking teens or young people. Girls often use alcohol as an excuse for being promiscuous and will use the old “I was so drunk I don’t remember a thing” line.

Another worrying trend among women is drunkorexia. Drunkorexia is a phenomenon where women forgo eating in order to "spend" their daily calories on alcohol. If your lady friend refuses to eat so she can consume multiple cans of Boone’s Farm, then she’s probably been around the block a few times.

3. She's Constantly Giving you STDs

image

Source: Noel Hendrickson / Photographer's Choice RF / Getty Images

You could be in real danger if your girlfriend has slept around and/or continues to sleeps around. The CDC has recently issued a report that sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are all on the rise. Last year, the Washington Post reported that one in four teenage girls currently have at least one STD. Imagine what happens when these girls hit their twenties. Women are also less likely to know or show symptoms of an STD, so be careful. I know guys who have caught something and confronted their girl, only to be accused of cheating.

So if you think your girls had a slutty past, be mature and organize an STD testing date. Take the test together and then buy her ice cream. Just make sure she doesn't lick your cone.

2. She Personally Knows Every Guy in Your Hood

image

Source: Push / Digital Vision / Getty Images

One day you will be with your girlfriend and bump into one of her exes. This is pretty common. It is not common to be constantly bumping into dudes who your girlfriend knows and has obviously been intimate with. Their conversation will be short, awkward and painful to experience. As you leave, the dude will look at you in a way that signals “I’ve banged your slutty girlfriend.” Afterwards your girlfriend will swiftly explain that “he’s just a friend” and change the conversation. If it also happens when you both travel to another city, then your girlfriend is grade A slutty.

If you are worried that your girl has slept around a lot, take a look at her cell phone. If she has way more guy numbers than girls, chances are she’s had a wild past. A further bad omen is if her friends have nicknames for her such as "slut," "sloppy jo" or "skankerella." Even if it’s in jest, they are probably calling her this for a reason.

1. You Find Used Condoms

image

Source: Tom Schierlitz / Stone+ / Getty Images

A sure sign your girl is a slut is if you discover used condoms in her possession and they are not yours. I once heard a story on the radio about a guy who found a used condom inside his girl. It was a brand and color he never used. If this happens to you, then your girlfriend is officially the biggest slut in the world.

Loading...