Well, spank my a** and call me Susan, somebody used all the coffee cups in your office again. That’s it. That’s the end of it. I can’t handle any more. Time to push the little red button.
To execute yourself and everybody around you, just plug this 4’’x3’’x2.5’’ device into a USB 2.0 port, then initiate the arming sequence.
To arm and then fire the Doomsday Device, you must activate 3 levels of security in order. First, activate switch one, powering it on. Second, switch two arming it. Switch three is armed using a secure key that should only be issued to authorized military personnel.
At this time, the red button should be glowing like the smoldering hatred in your soul. Bonus: it's 20% off right now, so you'll only pay $40.