Bacon is the candy of meats. It is so sinfully delightful that many refer to a good-looking plate of bacon-themed foodstuffs as bacon porn. It is the most coveted of the breakfast meats and has set forth a greasy wave of devotion crawling across the floor of the ocean that is the internet, so prepare yourself for a tsunami of savory specialties.
10. Bacon-Laced Cinnamon Rolls
Bacon is really good at breakfast. It was the genesis of its modern-day glory, some would say. Another delicious heart-stopper that’s best in the a.m. is the cinnamon roll. Too much of a good thing? Maybe for you. Bet you don't lace your Marlboros with LSD either, wuss.
9. Bacon Weave (+ anything)
The bacon-on-bacon idea is something that’s been kicked around for some time. However, never has it been so literally (and elegantly) woven into the fabric of our culinary experience than with the bacon weave. The best thing about the bacon weave is that it’s good by itself, or on top of anything (even another bacon weave).
8. Bacon Bowl Salad
If one ate only bacon, one could lead a happier, albeit shorter, life. In the interest of prolonging this life (and hence, the amount of bacon consumed cumulatively therein), it might be a good idea to choke down some greens every once in a while. But, don’t worry, there is a silver bacon-y lining.
We'll start by saying we have no arrangement with Wendy's or any subsidiaries thereof. We just love the friggin Baconator. Call us sellouts, but while you’re wasting precious calories moving your jaw to do that, we’ll be eating a Baconator dipped in chili without chewing - just tip your head back and cough it down like a mothaf****** merganser.
6. Bacon Rolling Papers
The munchies are what we call a win-win: “Endocannabinoids and cannabinoid receptors are abundant in the hypothalamus, the region of the brain that plays a pivotal role in appetite regulation. In 1992, researchers identified the first endocannabinoid and named it anandamide, from the Sanskrit ananda, meaning inner bliss. In other words, when you smoke dope, you're replicating (albeit with much greater intensity) an effect the body produces naturally for itself.”
5. Bacon gingerbread cookies
The gingerbread man has always lacked a certain saltiness to me – a certain saltiness that can be injected with bacon fat and illustrated with this. Bacon-fat ginger cookies are made just like normal ginger cookies, but with ¾ of a cup of bacon fat slathered in the batter. Makes you wonder what else could be made better with a bacon fat slather.
4. Chicken Fried Bacon
So many wonderful things happen at the Texas State Fair: people get gored by rampaging bulls, there are fistfights over BBQ sauce recipes, and they chicken fry bacon strips; allowing the sumptuous measurements of our greatest state’s blonde, former-champion cheerleaders to really fill out their uniforms. Bless ‘em.
3. Bacon Martini
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they sure as hell make one hell of a dirty martini. The bacon martini is made with bacon-flavored vodka and garnished with (geez, what could we put on the rim of the glass…) a big ole’ slice of bacon. Available from the Double Down Saloon in Vegas or your own kitchen if you want to make your own.
2. Candied Bacon Fudge
Chocolate-covered bacon is pretty good. But it takes a real man of genius to take such a concept 900 steps further by covering bacon in brown sugar, cooking it, then putting said “candied” bacon into a luscious brick of chocolate fudge. Tip of that hat to you, Billy from supersizedmeals.com.
1. The Bacon Henge
The soaring majesty of a solid henge is something we, as a people, have been into since our Druidic forebearers erected their henge-of-stone and spilled blood on it to appease the gods of the harvest. Now, we build a much more civil, delicious, and warmer henge to appease our own bacon-lusting tongues. We do so love history.