The female bosom is a thing of beauty that's been admired since the dawn of time. We all know the female breasts’ primary function is to produce milk to feed infants. But that hasn’t stopped women all over the world from performing some downright odd things with their bazookas.
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10. Washing the Car
The image of a voluptuous woman cleaning a dirty car in a skimpy outfit has been a male fantasy since cars were invented. It nicely combines two of man’s great loves--cars and babes. Guys don’t actually want their cars cleaned by a ditzy big-breasted floozy near their high octane road warrior.
But in Australia, you can have your vehicle washed by a topless professional. A strip club operator has opened a car wash called Bubbles N’ Babes. For $55, a topless woman will clean your car. For $100 dollars, she will wash it while completely nude and perform a lap dance (to let you know she has finished washing the car). Having your car washed with a big set of breasts is not the most effective way to clean a car… but it sure fun to watch.
9. Making Art for Charity
Source: Yves Klein Art. P.S. 1 Queens, New York
It’s an epidemic sweeping the world. Women are meeting in private, taking their tops off, and using their naked bosoms to create art for breast cancer charities. The women of County Durham in England are one such group that has joined the craze. According to a report, the women covered their breasts in paint and painted “images of pandas, cherries, Christmas puddings and bumblebees on plates” which were later glazed and fired. The women subsequently sold the plates to raise money for Breast Cancer Care. Joanne Scott, an organizer of the breast painting group, said, “You just want to do something to help. And this is a fun way to raise money for a good cause."
That’s not all they’re raising.
8. Opening a Beer Bottle
The most difficult part of drinking a beer is opening the damn bottle. It just takes so much effort and can, quite frankly, cause serious damage to your hand. I say the only way to crack open a cold one is to have a booblicious babe do it with her bazongas.
Let me introduce you to the girl in this video. I have no idea was what her name is, but let’s call her Becky. Becky has been blessed with the ability to pop a top with a single breast. Her process is magnificent to watch. She carefully places the beer bottle on her cushiony breast, slowly pushing it in until it has just the right amount of grip. Then, with a quick turn of her wrist, the beer cap shoots off and the beer is ready to consume.
7. As a Money Holder
Using breasts as a money holder makes total sense. If guys could wears bras (and clearly some dudes have the size and need for support) then we would totally store money there. So, ladies, I implore you to throw out your cumbersome, prissy purses and handbags that you’re always losing and start storing your spare change in your ta-tas. We already know that you secretly use your breasts and bras as a special storage chamber. Now is the time to come clean and be honest about it.
This Japanese woman has and you can see the joy and relief on her face. She even went as far as going on television and letting slimy men pour pounds of change on her. She really seems to enjoy it, don’t you think? Watch as her smile becomes wider and bigger as her bosoms become wealthier and wealthier as they are weighed down by silver coins.
6. Making and Selling Cheese
Photo: John Slater/Digital Vision/Getty Images
One New York City chef has turned his wife into a human cheese-making machine. Chef Daniel Angerer started experimenting with his wife’s breast milk to create a cheese. He blogged about the experience and all of a sudden customers at his restaurant, Kell Brasserie, started demanding a sample. Angerer put his wife to work and began serving the breast-milk cheese as a canapé served with figs and Hungarian pepper. The chef says it “tastes like cow’s milk-cheese” and is kind of sweet. The flavor can differ depending on “what the mother eats.”
The response to the cheese has been mostly positive. Angerer’s wife Lori Mason says, “I think a lot of the criticism has to do with the combination of sex and cheese, but . . . the breast is there to make food." She’s got a point. If breast milk is good enough for babies, then why not adults? Mason now wants her husband to try making a breast-milk gelato. She better get a-pumping.