5. The Wagon Queen Family Truckster - National Lampoon’s Vacation
Based on a Ford LTD Country Squire station wagon with a ton of wacky National Lampoon modifications, the Wagon Queen Family Truckster that Clark Griswold and his son Rusty reluctantly purchase from Lou Glutz Motors was a beater the minute it struggled to get off the lot.
With yet another bonehead move by one of the greatest dads in comedy history, Clark Griswold and his family found themselves riding across the beautiful landscapes of the Untied States in one of the crappiest automobiles ever designed. Although, on the flipside of things, even after taking a triumphant beating throughout the entire trip, the Family Truckster did indeed make it to Walley World when all was said and done. The kid’s got spirit.
4.1972 Pontiac LeBaron - The Big Lebowski
This one really needs no introduction as far as I’m concerned. Featured in one of the most side-splitting comedic scenes ever, The Dude’s 1972 Pontiac LeBaron is a legend among cinematic automobiles. And this isn’t really even a question of the car being one of the greatest beaters seen in film either. The seemingly endless cult following of The Big Lebowski has already cemented Jeff’s Creedence Clearwater Revival-blaring LeBaron into the stoned hearts and minds of millions and millions of loyal viewers. It also needs to be said that Dude’s mode of transportation goes through some serious drama throughout the film. How many cars get used as a bathroom and still keep on truckin’ with their original owners? Answer: Only one. Gotta love that rust coloration.
3. 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Royale – The Evil Dead Franchise
Ash’s 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Royale, also known as "The Classic," is easily one of the greatest beaters in the history of moving pictures. It’s one of the most seen too. Not only has the classic yellow Olds got some solid screen time in all three Evil Dead features, Sam Raimi even squeezed the Delta 88 runner into every movie he’s made since. Even The Quick and the Dead. Seriously. This has obviously added to the car’s legend over the years and effortlessly placed it among the best in the business. Not only that, it was also modified to help Ash defeat the Deadites.
2. Millenium Falcon – Star Wars
It’s really hard to break down what exactly makes this ship is so awesome, but Han and Chewy’s punk rock attitude and irrational faith about the flying craft’s professional abilities throughout the entire series has to be why we all adore the damn thang so much. Of course there are much more souped-up ships all over the galaxy, but this little YT-1300 freighter has legitimately done things that very few so-called big-time vessels can even begin to claim. Need examples? Umm…how about helping to destroy the freaking Death Star? Twice, son. Twice! Oh, the Falcon also made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. NBD.
1. 1974 Dodge Monaco – The Blues Brothers
Y’all know the deal on this one. Not only does the Bluesmobile carry a 7.1-liter V-8 engine, it also notoriously comes equipped with cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks, and many more modifications made by cops, for cops.
A beater on the outside and a total badass where it counts, the Dodge Monaco used by Jake and Elwood Blues to outrun droves of Illinois’ finest, the Good Ol' Boys, and a pissed off neo-Nazi goof troupe is about as untouchable as Eliot Ness in the epic beater department. I know I’m not alone when I say that I always wanted an old beat-up police car while growing up because of this movie. It was very sad to see the old girl fall to pieces after the epic car chase to end all car chases, but at least we can always rewind the awesomeness for yet another go. RIP Bluesmobile.