After a highly publicized breakup with pre-pubescent rap star and noted woman abuser Chris Brown, the sexy new Princess of Hip Pop has found love (and possibly a Herpes outbreak) with a Los Angeles Dodgers star not named Manny Ramirez.
Matt Kemp, a 25-year-old outfielder known for his big bat, quick glove, and refusal to sleep with renowned bleacher bunny Alyssa Milano (who remains the only woman on the planet to get railed by both Barry Zito and Fred Durst) is widely regarded as one of the most talented young players in the game and the best mid-season pick-up in "Breitman Family Fantasy Baseball League" history. (Screw you, Grandma!)
Rihanna and her new beau recently enjoyed a trip to Mexico filled with warm weather, beautiful beaches, and what appears to be an enviable amount of ass-grabbing on the patio. And oh yes, there was a hot tub involved.
On behalf of everyone at Spike.com, let me be the first to say I wish you two nothing but the best, and sincerely hope that this new romance doesn’t affect your fantasy baseball value for the upcoming season. It's getting really embarrassing losing to my uncle with Alzheimer's who takes Sandy Koufax with his first pick every year.
(On an editorial note, it was difficult to restrain from making a joke about Chris Brown's slugging percentage.)
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