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The Eight Strangest Sounding Panels at Comic-Con

by DannyGallagher   July 19, 2011 at 8:00PM  |  Views: 1,651

4. The Science of Zombies: How Possible is a Zombie Virus?

Source: Mark Klotz/Flickr Select/Getty Images

I'm a zombie movie nut but I would never wish for anyone to have to experience the horror of watching their friends, neighbors, relatives, and even fellow strangers turn into flesh-hungry monsters that have to be decapitated to be stopped. Notice I didn't say "ex-girlfriends" in that previous sentence. She knows why.

The creators of the "Dead Island" game are teaming up with an actual neurological scientist on how game developers are using advancements in the study of biology and medicine to drive their interactive creations and if there is the possibility for a zombie virus to exist in the real world. Answer: No.

What You'll Learn:

- That there are no such things as zombies

- That I just said there are no zombies in the whole of human existence

- Improving your listening and memory retention skills in order to learn and remember that the science guy just said that there are no such things as zombies

3. Detecting Deviants in the Dark Night: Profiling Gotham City's Serial Killers

Source: Digital Vision/Photodisc/Getty Images

Once again, the Con is teaming up a set of real world FBI law enforcement scientists and profilers and some real world comic book nerds to analyze the criminal minds of some fictional comic book monsters. Did I miss a meeting or are we no longer fighting al-Qaeda?

This panel will house three forensic scientists along with a special FBI behavioral profiler to "examine the effects of psychological trauma on the development of the hero and villain" for such comic book legends as Mr. Zsasz, Commissioner Gordon, the Falcone crime family, and (of course) the Joker.

What You'll Learn:

- The principals to solve and capture a serial murderer as long as the suspect wears bright face paint at all times and purposefully leaves cryptic clues at the crime scene that leads to his identity and whereabouts

- That crime doesn't pay except for the part right before you get arrested

- That none of the scientists nor the FBI guy know "that guy from 'Criminal Minds'"

2. Sci-Fi That Will Change Your Life

Source: ICHIRO/Photodisc/Getty Images

I have no doubt that any great piece of literature or art from any genre can make you look at the world in a way you never thought possible and develop empathy for people that once seemed cold and inhuman. However, I never saw one of the "Star Trek" movies and thought to myself, "Man, that Shatner has really let himself go. I oughta start working out and eat better."

This panel aims to somehow explore the stories behind classics and newer sci-fi fare that will "make your brain explode with new ideas." Hopefully, one of the first ones will be to stock up on more newspaper so you don't have to pay a guy to get brain juice out of your carpet and you can get your deposit back at the end of the month.

What You'll Learn:

- That all science fiction boils down to one major theme: the world would be cooler if we had flying cars

- The hidden themes in "Blade Runner" about the nature of human existence and the gift of consciousness and why the original version sucked out loud compared to the director's cut

1. Oh, You Sexy Geek!: A Look at How Geek Girls are Portrayed and Explore Their Sexuality

Source: Dustin Sussman/Spike.com

Ladies, it's hard for me to visualize or even understand your situation, especially in the annals of popular culture. In TV, movies and even comics, the ugly, fat guy can get a date with the hot prom queen but the nerdy, self-assured, and headstrong girl with acne and braces couldn't even get a cup of water from one of the cool kids if she were on fire.

Then again, it's very amusing to realize that this panel that aims to explore how these very real and honest women are portrayed and presented in a guy-centered culture is being held in a setting where thousands of chemically-enhanced women are there to wear skimpy superhero outfits and pretend that they are impressed by the size of the overweight Ash's "boomstick."

What You'll Learn:

- Why the Chun Li impersonator at the "Street Fighter" booth gave you her number, which turned out to be an Arby's in Modesto

- The legal restrictions of a court-imposed restraining order

- That, once again, there are no such things as f***ing zombies, so stop asking



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