AresHuls vs iHonk

January 3, 2011


Bastard Sword.


Long Bow.

Battle Axe.

Hapkido, Boxing, Wrestling.

Gambeson, Riveted Chain Mail, Padded Coif, Chain Mail Coif, Nasal Helm, Kite Shield.


Bastard Sword.


Composite Bow.


Patience, Stalking.

Chain Mail, Leather, Camo, Scutum Shield.


Bastard Sword vs Bastard Sword. Edge = Even.

Same weapon, same results.

Spear vs Dory. Edge = Dory.

The Dory behind the Scutum is a 100% deadly deal, making iHonk victorious.

Long Bow vs Composite Bow. Edge = Composite Bow.

This was tempting me to say Even, but the Composite Bow is slightly faster and accurate.

Axe vs Staff. Edge = Battle Axe.

The Staff gives a stunning blow, but the Axe kills with a large blade.

Hapkido, Boxing, Wrestling vs Patience, Stalking. Edge = AresHuls.

When iHonk comes in for a fight after stalking Ares for a while, he'll be attacked by Hapkido training, get punched from Boxing, or be wrestled to the ground.

Gambeson, Riveted Chain Mail, Padded & Chain Mail Coif, Nasal Helm, Kite Shield vs Chain Mail, Leather, Camo, Scutum Shield. Edge = AresHuls.

This would be close, but with Ares' additional armor, and head protection keeps him safer from more offensive attacks.

AresHuls: 3.5. iHonk: 2.5.


Two men on the opposite sides of a street in the middle of a big city are heading out to a convention for Spike Bloggers. Both had thought that they could impress the others with their own weapons, saying they could fight in a battle like the ones they make all the time.

One of the men, that we will address as iHonk, gets to the convention first, having his awesome bastard sword. He also had his dory, staff, and even his scutum and composite bow.

Another man, named AresHuls, set his stuff next to iHonk a few minutes later. iHonk was a little afraid of the man with all that armor. He cracked a joke, "With all that armor you like a knight!" The man turned with his bastard sword out, "Templar Knight, thank you very much. Hey hold on a second, you got the same sword I do!" iHonk grabbed his own bastard sword along with his scutum up. "Yeah, it's like we were made to fight--" but he was cut off when Ares yelled, "SO BE IT!" and stabbed with his sword.

iHonk blocked with his scutum, and slashed his sword down on Ares' shoulder, but he raised his kite shield just in time. The rest of the people in the room ran out, them glancing at other bloggers they knew. iHonk and Ares met their swords several times, and iHonk was able to push his shield into Ares, knocking him down.

Before iHonk could take a big swipe down on Ares, he lifted his sword and battle axe out, blocking the attack. With a flip of the wrists, iHonk was disarmed and ran back to his table, holding only his scutum. He rose up his bow, and shot, but the arrow lodged in Ares' chain mail and gambeson. He ran up and took a massive swing with his axe, but iHonk ducked, and ran away, grabbing his dory and staff and holding it behind his shield.

Ares was in pursuit, and he also grabbed his bow and shot a few arrows. Two missed, but one hit him in the shoulder. He opened up a door and hid inside the room, taking out the arrow, and aiming another arrow to where Ares will come from. The door flew open, and the arrow sailed through the air. It lodged into the kite shield. iHonk cursed, dropped his bow, and was ready to attack with his dory. He blocked the bottom of the stairs, stuck his dory up, so if Ares dared try getting through, he'd get impaled.

With no choice, Ares jumped off the rail of the stairs, landing nicely. iHonk was disappointed that he didn't break his foot like Roker had previously. Ares stabbed upwards with his spear, landing in the scutum. The damage was so great, iHonk had to drop it, and was about to stab with his dory, but Ares rolled away and got up. Both stabbed at each other, both lodging in their armor, getting past a tiny bit without killing.

Ares ran up and wrestled iHonk to the ground, but he was able to punch Ares hard enough in the cheek to let go, allowing him to grab his staff. He did a few tricks and was able to hit Ares to knock him over. But he jumped back up, and using his hapkido skills, he was able to dodge the staff, and kick iHonk in the head, throwing him down, making him barely conscious. Ares lifted up his battle axe, and swung it on the head of iHonk, killing him instantly.

AresHuls: 546.

Bastard Sword: 145.

Spear: 162.

Long Bow: 98.

Axe: 141.

iHonk: 454.

Bastard Sword: 107.

Dory: 223.

Composite Bow: 79.

Staff: 45.