Mantenna - Plaxico Burress Signs with the New York Jets

August 2, 2011
Rupert Murdoch's pie thrower goes to jail, Samantha Ronson's mug shot hits the Internet, and Plaxico Burress signs with the New York Jets…the Mantenna shoots and scores!

Plaxico Burress Signs with the New York Jets

Photo: Chris Gardner/Stringer/Getty Images News

According to reports, after recently being released from prison, wide receiver Plaxico Burress has signed a one-year, $3.017 million contract with the New York Jets. "It wasn't a hard decision to make," said Burress. "It really meant a lot to me and my family, especially with all the events we had going on at that time, not knowing the fate of my situation, or what was going to transpire," Burress said. "To get the call and to be able to come here and play for them, for somebody who really supported me through the thick, just not the thin, meant a lot for me. I just hope I can come here and play great and help them win a championship." Love him or hate him, dude does know how to catch a football. Football!

Rupert Murdoch's Pie Thrower Goes to Jail

The man who lobbed a shaving cream pie at the face of Aussie media mogul Rupert Murdoch during a British Parliamentary inquiry is headed to jail. British comedian Jonathan May-Bowles, known as Jonnie Marbles, was sentenced to six weeks jail time for the prank. District Judge Daphne Wickham blasted the jokester pie maker during sentencing, saying, "You attended with one objective in mind, which was to disrupt proceedings. Your behavior merits a custodial sentence." May-Bowles lawyer tried to argue that his client's actions were a legitimate form of protest; however the judge didn't buy it. May-Bowles, who pleaded guilty last week, is expected to only serve half the sentence behind bars.

Samantha Ronson Arrested for DUI, Mug Shot Makes Matters Even Worse

Photo: Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic/Getty Images

Yesterday while driving back from a DJ gig in Las Vegas, Lindsay Lohan's former girlfriend Samantha Ronson was pulled over for speeding and failed a field sobriety test, eventually being taken into custody on suspicion of a DUI. After finally being released from custody yesterday afternoon, Ronson's mug shot found its way onto the ol' Internets. Needless to say, mama has got some serious attitude.

Even the Tooth Fairy is Broke

In this troubled economy, even the Tooth Fairy has to watch her finances. A recent survey conducted by VISA shows that the Tooth Fairy's going rate for a molar is down a staggering 40 cents. Yep, a tooth is only worth $2.60 compared to $3 last year. To make matters worse, 10 percent of children are finding nothing under their pillow when a tooth has been lost. This is up four percent compared to a year ago. Rakshanda Liaqat, a Phoenix mom, told CNN, "It's a cardinal sin not to (pay). It's about a child losing a part of her and the warm belief that the tooth fairy will take care of her precious tooth. Now, on the other hand, counting the number of teeth your kid loses. And that, too, multiple times in a year? And, having two kids? I can understand the economic recession the Tooth Fairy goes through in terms of her salary." It seems no one is safe, not even fairies, in this economic downturn.