1-800-TOW-FETISH: Number on Toy Tow Truck Points to a Sex Line

August 9, 2011

Admit it: every young man who has lived since Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone has called a phone sex line at least once in his lifetime. If you deny it, you're a liar and are going to have to surgically remove your own testicles in order to back up your lie. Go ahead, I'll wait.

The difference between the puberty-stricken youth of yesteryear and today is we didn't have many excuses when our parents had to cough up an exorbitant amount of money because our hormones prevent us from talking to hotties and doing math at the same time. Today, they've got an airtight alibi thanks to Matchbox and one of their miniature toy tow trucks.

Back in 2000, the Mattel corporation added a GMC Tow Truck to their popular toy car lineup and for an added bit of realism, they printed a number on the hood for 1-800-FAST-TOW. A grandmother in Marietta, Georgia called the number on the toy truck that she gave to her three-year-old son and you can imagine the look of shock on her face when the woman on the other line invited her to experience "an exciting new way to go live, one-on-one with hot horny girls waiting right now to talk to you." I imagine it looked something like a cross between the guy with the melting face in Raiders of the Lost Ark and the mutilated face of Large Marge from Pee-wee's Big Adventure.

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