The Six Best Girlfriend Substitutes Technology Has To Offer
3. Body Pillow Girlfriends
We've already established that Japanese men use pillows instead of real women to sleep on. But what about the guys who are looking for a little more out of a pillow than a place to rest their head? For the man who wants a more complete relationship with a stuffed cloth sack, Japan has happily provided full-length body pillow girlfriends. Now, they aren't just plain old everyday body pillows (because that would be weird!). These pillows have images of cartoon characters on them. Cartoon characters that grown men pretend to have relationships with. It's true. A small but steady number of men in Japan engage in long-term, monogamous relationships with body pillows that have famous anime characters printed on them. They sleep together, go out on dates, and do just about everything else normal couples do. And, you know what? More power to them. It may seem a little odd, but who are we to judge the mysteries of love.
Now, does anybody know if they sell Betty or Veronica ones?
2. 3G Cellphone Virtual Girlfriend
But who has time to sit in front of a computer talking to a cheap AI program or lug around a body-sized pillow. What if you want to take your fake girlfriend everywhere you go, but don't want anyone to know you're slowly falling in love with a few megabytes of code? A Hong Kong company called Artificial Life Inc has created a girlfriend sim that you can take anywhere. It's a mobile game that allows you to watch a bunch of female characters go through their weekly lives. You can check in with her at her home, her job, the local shopping mall, or even a bar. If you're not satisfied just stalking your virtual crush, you can also text her, send her virtual gifts, and even chat in real time. As you progress through the game, you can spend every waking moment with the girl of your dreams and watch as she evolves and develops. Virtual Girlfriend is more of a game than a real girlfriend substitute, but you can still get some of the experiences you would have with a girlfriend. Best of all, Virtual Girlfriend is really easy to hide. If someone notices you intently tapping away on your phone you can always tell them you're playing Tetris. And not spending hours choosing just the right teddy bear to give to your virtual girlfriend on your imaginary anniversary.
1. Roxxxy the Robot Girlfriend
If the RealDoll is the girl-next-door of girlfriend substitutes, Roxxxy the Robot Girlfriend is her wild older sister. The Hustler to RealDoll's Playboy. RealDoll is the sex doll you bring home to meet mom. Roxxxy is the sex doll you party with on a Saturday night and don't call back in the morning. Inspired by a friend who died on September 11th (really) the guy who built Roxxy, Douglas Hines, says he wanted to build a sex robot with a difference. This one talks. Roxxxy is also equipped with touch sensors and she can respond to the terrible, terrible things you might want to do to it. It doesn't move, but you can just pretend she's really nervous or uninterested. The only drawback to the talking feature is it's still pretty rudimentary. Ask Roxxy a question about Obamacare or last night's episode of Manswers and she'll just stare at you blankly. Actually, ask her just about anything and it'll stare at you blankly, but come on, you didn't drop $7,000 on a sex robot to talk to it, did you?