The Top 10 Biggest Cockblockers in Life
5. The B**ch on the Rocks
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Some women, however, are harder to have a conversation with than Amelia Earhart and this ice queen can turn your larynx into a block of ice. She there to look out for her friend at any cost necessary and God help the man who tries to get in her way. Every member of the opposite sex is her enemy and she's an estrogen mini-gun just waiting for a Y chromosome to wander into her sights.
4. Uber-Ugly Betty
Every girl friend strives to go out with a friend who is on a much lower rung than her on the beauty department in the hopes of scoring the attractive eye of a male, simply by comparison. Unfortunately, when she actually gets a guy on her fishing hook, she feels so bad for the friend that not even a 200 amp welding torch can separate them from her, unless you have a very desperate friend and an aquarium load of tequila.
3. Mr. Handsome (and Then Some)
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If you've ever had a self-conscious thought about the way you look, this guy can bring it out of you and post it in skywriting for everyone in the world to see. He's got more flawless features than a brand new Aston Martin DB9 and can turn the head of every lady in the bar. He won't just steal the woman of your affection from you. He'll hoist her on his shoulders, carry her out of the bar, throw her in the back of his truck, and then go back into the bar for seconds. If pretty women were calories, he would be John Goodman.
2. The Mother
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Just about every levelheaded woman is close to their mother, but some are literally still welded on to them and do everything with them so much so that she'll have you check for an umbilical cord. This not only makes it harder for you to offer your wanton advances, but hard not to turn those same advances towards her mother just in case you've stepped into some kind of super rare, mother-daughter three-way vortex. Steven Hawking says they exist, but I've never seen one.
1. Brandi Honeybuns (a.k.a. Undercover Officer Lindsey)
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The night is done and you're alone, but still long for the affection that men have sought for centuries. So you bite the bullet and pony up the dough for some paid company, only she turns out to be a member of the second oldest profession: law enforcement, the vice squad to be exact. Now instead of snuggling up to a warm shapely body in the cold of the night, you're hoping your cellmate is too tired from his time in the exercise yard to even consider crawling into the top bunk with you.