Science Awesomely Says Violent Video Games Reduce Violence

June 23, 2011
For years, parents, teachers, politicians, television pundits, opportunistic lawyers, and other cranky old geezers who have never picked up a video game controller have been trying to convince everyone that video games turn children into bloodthirsty psychopaths. Now science has given you explicit permission to walk right up to them and laugh so hard in their faces that their skin melts clean off the bone.

The University of Texas recently conducted a psychological study to find relationships between playing violent video games and aggression in the people who play them. The study found that even though games can increase a person's aggression, that aggression doesn’t do harm because it's not directed towards actual people or society.

In fact, the study suggests that there is no causal link between the rise of violent crime and violent video games. Instead, violent video games have an "incapacitation effect" on those who play them and they actually help to reduce the amount of violent crime in the real world. That sonic boom you just heard wasn't a bomb being set off by an angry teen who plays way too much Call of Duty. It's the entire gamer world screaming "PWNED!" at the old fogies who aren't sure if "Pwned" is a new energy drink or a euphemism for "Mary Jane."

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