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Robbie E's Top Five Pets

by Robbie E   May 16, 2013 at 12:00AM  |  Views: 2,391


What's up, bro? Big Rob is back with another blog. Oh man, am I in a good mood. Summer is getting closer, and Robbie E is happy in the summer, bro. When I'm alone what occupies me though, bro? Definitely not a pet. I hate animals -- I don't trust them, bro. But if I were to have an animal these are the 5 I would choose, bro.

5 - Hermit Crab – I had them when I was a kid. They didn't really smell, didn't bother me, and I gave them the names Dre and Snoop (I was into gangsta rap before club music, bro).

4 - Brussels Griffon Dog – It's the best kind of dog, bro. They're cute, little. They don't drool, don't smell, don't bother me. And those are all the things Bigger Rob did, bro. I had to carry a ShamWow for all the drool off that guy. He was like, half-man, half-ape, part party machine.

3 - Guinea Pig – Again, like the hermit crab, bro, these things stay in their cages and are small and quiet. You don't have to walk them, feed them really too much, and certainly won't hear them while I'm getting it on with my girl, bro.

2 - Snake - I know it sounds weird. Why would I want a snake? But if I have a snake, then I get to have a sign by my house that says beware of snake, bro. How bad ass and scary am I? No one will try to ever break in my house, bro. I can tell you that much for sure.

1 - Hamster - Duh… what else would it be? Obviously the only animal I actually like. It's already in my vocabulary so why not have one, bro.

Until next week. OH! These are the animals I would own, bro.

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