The Top 10 Strangest Bras in the World

April 20, 2010

The bra is the gatekeeper of the female breasts, which is arguably the best job in the world. They lift, support, and push. But not all bras are created equal. Some are stuck in Bizarretown.

Photo: Yoshikazu Tsuno/AFP/Getty Images

 

10. The Golf Bra

Photo: Yoshikazu Tsuno/AFP/Getty Images

The golf bra makes scoring fun. This bizarre bra combines two things guys love: golf and boobs. Aptly named the "Nice Cup in Bra," this strange green corset-style brassiere morphs into a functioning putting green. Once the bra is removed and unwrapped, the miniature green measures approximately five feet long. The breast cup acts as the green’s holes (strange that there are two holes on this green) and if a player scores, a recorded voice announces, “Nice shot.”

The bra also comes with a matching pink skirt that when removed turns into a “Be quiet” flag,” just in case you’re being too loud in your after-hours pursuits. While the makers of the bra say it’s intended for the growing female population who love golf, the practicality of this doesn’t make sense. What are these women meant to golf in? The nude?

Actually, that makes perfect sense.

 

9. The Musical Bra

Source: Instructable

Ever wondered what boobs would sound like if they were a musical instrument? Well now you can totally listen to a pair of breasts make beautiful, sweet music. All you need is a musical bra. The folks at Instructables have created the world’s first bra that turns a pair of breasts into a musical instrument.

They took the simple electronics from a toy keyboard and implanted them into a pink sports bra. The resulting prototype features eight different sounds in each cup, which are triggered by built-in buttons. As the breasts move they make sounds, which are projected out of speakers that also contained in the bra. While the bra is definitely not sexy and is probably even horrible to wear, it gives boobs a voice and no matter the sound, it's bound to be beautiful.

 

8. The Husband-Hunting Bra

Photo: Junko Kimura/Getty Images

Watch out men—there’s a bra that's hunting for your hand in marriage. The bra is desperate to catch you and tie you down with wedded "bliss." Once you are in its grasp you will be made to go shopping for inconsequential household items, talk about feelings, and have all your manliness sucked from you body.

The main component of this bra is a digital clock that sits between the woman’s two breasts. The woman decides an amount of time she thinks it will take to find a husband and programs that time into the bra. The clock then starts a countdown, much like a ticking time bomb, and the pressure is on for the woman to find Mr. Right (or Mr. In-Front-of-Me-Now). Once the woman has found her match, the gallant man must insert an engagement ring into the bra to stop the countdown. Once a ring is inserted, Mendelssohn's "The Wedding March” begins to play.  The bra also comes with a pen to sign a prenup or wedding contract and a traditional Japanese wedding holder.

 

7. The Bacon Bra

Source: bkusler/Flickr

One day a man awoke (we’ll call him "awesome man") and decided to combine his too great loves—boobs and bacon. Thus the Bacon Bra was born and the world would never be the same. The bra has absolutely no function, except to add to bacon’s already awe-inspiring stature. It does not provide support, nor does it lift the breasts, moisturize, or maximize cleavage. All it does is provide an excuse to slap some bacon on a pair of breasts.

If anything, the bacon is wasted on these boobs. It should be cooked. It should be consumed. Bacon should never ever go to waste. Mmm … bacon. Mmm… so salty and delicious... Mmm...

 

6. The Man Bra

Photo: Gizmodo

Dude, if you have manboobs you gotta give them support. Right? Well, that’s the thought behind the Man Bra. Commonly known as the bro (thanks to Seinfeld), the manssiere, or even the brossiere, this far-from-manly article of clothing is a hit in Japan.  The product, officially called the Wish Room's Man Bra, is quickly becoming an online bestseller—which is understandable because what guy in their right mind would walk into a shop and actually purchase one of theses things?

The bra is designed for that man with too much junk in their chest. Unlike the female bra, the male bra is designed to flatten the "moob" and provide support for those men who suffer from Gynecomastia. They come in a variety of colors, including white, black, and pink. If you’re going to buy one of these things, you might as well go all out and purchase the pink one because you know you’ll never get laid again.

 

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5. The Anti-Wrinkle Bra

Photo: La Decollette

Relief is on its way to the women of the world who suffer from aging, wrinkly breasts. A Dutch company has created the world’s first anti-wrinkle bra. The bra is far from sexy and is intended for nighttime use only. It’s kind of like a girdle for boobs. Apparently the primary cause of wrinkly breasts is when a lady’s ta-tas mush together (yes, that’s the technical term) while they sleep. The La Decollette anti-wrinkle bra uses “cupless technology” to push apart and support a lady’s puppies while she gets her beauty rest. This bra is not about lifting the breasts; rather it’s about keeping them apart to maintain that ever important, crease-free cleavage.

 

4. The Solar Power Bra

Photo: Junko Kimura/Getty Images

What a brilliant idea—a bra that creates energy. Finally we can solve the energy crisis with breasts. Let’s start a movement: we can call it boob power. This energy-making bra contains photovoltaic cells that turn the sun’s rays into energy. The bra, which is made from a delightful green terry cloth, also contains an electronic scoreboard (reason unknown) and built-in, detachable beverage holders (which apparently reduce the consumption of aluminum cans and plastic bottles?).

The bra can reportedly create enough power to “charge a cell phone or iPod.” This is all great, except for the one major flaw with this bra. Women do not usually cavort around without wearing something over their bra. This, in effect, makes the bra’s energy-creating function useless.

I suppose it's back to the drawing board, but the dream of boob power continues...

 

3. The Anti-Smoking Bra

Photo: Yoshikazu Tsuno/AFP/Getty Images

Can’t kick that two-pack-a-day habit? The solution to quitting those cancer sticks once and for all may be in your bra. Swiss lingerie maker Triumph International has created the world’s first anti-smoking bra. The bra, unveiled in Japan, contains capsules that emit powerful scents once the wearer lights up. The capsules contain two scents. The first being jasmine, which alters the taste of the cigarette, making it taste worse (if that’s possible). The second is lavender, which provides a sedative effect and helps soothe the withdrawal symptoms of giving up your smokes. The bra is also treated with liquid titanium to break down the horrible smell cigarette smoke creates.

So if you’re having trouble giving up smoking, now you can blame your bra.

 

2. The Milkshake Bra

Photo: Image Source/Getty Images

No, the milkshake bra is not a set of shaking breasts. Rather it is a tasty bra made from milk protein. The bra was recently unveiled at an international lingerie convention and is touted as a breakthrough in bra technology. The bra is worn at night and contains 10 amino acids that hydrate the skin, making breasts even smoother, milkier, and most importantly, wrinkle-free.

The other advantage of wearing the milkshake bra is you wake up to a delicious meal. Well, maybe not. It is unknown whether you can consume the bra in the morning—though that would be awesome. One thing is for sure. This is the type of bra that will bring all the boys to your yard, whether you like it or not.

 

1. The Butt Bra

Source: Biniki Butt

Ladies, if you want the butt of J.Lo, then the butt bra is for you. After years of being overlooked, the backside now has the same level of support as the breasts. The bikini, or butt bra, was invented by a Californian psychologist Dr. Karin Hart, who was looking for a way to make her own bottom curvier and plumper. The butt bra acts in a similar way to a regular bra. It lifts the bottom up, making flat or small derrieres look more, well, bootylicious. The bottom bra is apparently very comfortable to wear, seamless and relatively inexpensive. It retails for around $29.95 and can be worn with or without underwear. Someone give this woman a Nobel Prize already.

But there’s no need to feel discriminated against. fellas. You too can have the bottom of J.Lo with the male version of the butt bra...the Maniki!

 

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