Ambitious Seven-Year-Old Begins Life of Crime
Nominations are in for the most hard-core second grader of the year and we’ve got the scoop on the guy at the front of the line.
In a vindictive act of retribution against maternal authority, seven-year-old Latarian Milton lashed out at society in his first crime spree this past Monday. Stealing his grandmother’s SUV, Milton rampaged through Palm Beach Gardens, Florida with a seven year-old co-conspirator.
Palm Beach Gardens police are pressing charges against Milton for committing grand theft auto, during the process of which two mailboxes, two parked cars and two moving cars were struck by Milton.
Evincing no contrition over his destructive descent into a life of crime, Milton offered up a chillingly simple motivation for his behavior, stating, “It’s fun to do bad things.” Fun, indeed. I’m sure it’s even more fun to rear a proto-gangster.