Celt vs William Wallace

January 18, 2011






William Wallace

War Hammer.


Ball & Chain.

Targe & Dirk.


Burda vs Hammer. Edge = Even.

These two crushing weapons ended in a tie with both having powerful swings, and even though the Hammer has another side, the Celt is faster with the Burda, so the short range weapons end in a crushing tie.

Longsword vs Claymore. Edge = Even.

Again, both brutal decapitating swords end evenly with long range and speed. Since both aim for the head, and since neither wear any helmets, this is 50/50. Both will slash out ultimate death.

Sling vs Ball & Chain. Edge = Sling.

The Sling is more accurate, is faster in speed (and reloading since the Ball & Chain is one use weapon), and has longer range. It is also lighter and more portable than the very heavy throwing club.

Lancea vs Targe & Dirk. Edge = Targe & Dirk.

*For once the Lancea is not given the edge by me.

The Lancea might be able to be thrown and is longer, but the Targe protects any hit with great defense, and impales with a spiked offense. The Dirk can also stab and kill as a bonus weapon, which will come in handy a few times.


In the early days of yore, a Celt is about to invade Scotland. He is preparing, equipped with his finest weapons, and sneaks into the border. No longer than just an hour later, he hears someone walking nearby. He hides behind a large log and looks across the forest to see a man with a massive sword, who had just stabbed his enemy with a sword longer than the Celt's LONGsword. The Celt loads his sling and starts spinning it around.


The rock sailed by, but missed the man by just an inch. Looking at where the rock came from, William Wallace sees the Celt. He pulls out his ball & chain, twirls it around, and hurls it.


The heavy steel weapon sailed pass the Celt, and hit a skinny tree far to the side, where it immediately broke, and started to fall. The Celt jumped out of the way, where he lifted up his lancea, and charged.

The tip of the lancea stabbed into the targe, where Wallace fought it for a few seconds, but eventually pulled out his war hammer and clubbed the lancea out of the Celt's hands. He pulled out his longsword, and slashed, where Wallace stuck his shield up high to protect his head and neck. He dropped his hammer and pulled the claymore out again, where the two clashed the swords together. The two fought for a minute until the Celt jumped out of the way, and clubbed the claymore out of Wallace's hands with his burda.

Wallace protects himself with the targe, where club after club met it. The spike on the shield was starting to bend, and having a pliant spike on an offensive shield is not good. He backed up again, and ducked when the sword came at him again. The longsword lodged into the tree, getting stuck. He was left with only his burda. He clubbed the targe a few times again, but the bent spike impaled his thigh, and when he looked down to try to get away, the dirk met with his jugular vein, and the Celt fell down, in a bloodied carcass.

William Wallace: 508.

Hammer: 67.

Claymore: 339.

Ball & Chain: 2.

Targe: 73.

Dirk: 27.

Celt: 492.

Burda: 62.

Longsword: 291.

Sling: 8.

Lancea: 131.