Only a few months after Disney bought the Star Wars franchise from George Lucas, we're slowly but surely getting a clearer picture of what the new installment will look like. We now have a director in JJ Abrams
, a screenwriter in Michael Arndt ("Little Miss Sunshine" and "Toy Story 3"), and most of the original cast has expressed a willingness to return.
The question remains, though: what will the new movie be? Will it pick up where the original trilogy left off? Or be a whole new story entirely?
We here at All Access Weekly have a few ideas of our own for the latest installment that we hope the folks at Disney will consider.
STAR WARS EPISODE VII: SOLO vs. SOLO
How do you keep a family together when your relationship is falling apart? Han & Leia Organa-Solo go through a divorce and explores the effect it has on all around them in the style of Kramer vs. Kramer; in particular the emotional impact their split has on Chewbacca.
STAR WARS EPISODE VII: CRUISE CONTROL
Remember the barge scene in "Return of the Jedi?" This'll be like that, except it'll be the entire
movie! Can Leia and Jason Patric (inexplicably replacing Han Solo) stop the barge from crashing into a dock for some reason? Also, there will be a Jet Ski action sequence.
STAR WARS EPISODE VII: JEDI TAKE MANHATTAN
The Star Wars gang find themselves in hostile alien terrain: New York City! An ode to both the original trilogy and the "fish out of water" Manhattan comedies of the 1970s and 1980s, this installment will show Han and Leia expressing frustration over being locked out of their hotel room and getting their credit card declined, while Luke goes on a search for C-3PO and R2D2 and finds them locked up behind glass in a pawn shop. Plus, Chewbacca spends two hours trying to figure out the G train after it's been rerouted due to construction.
STAR WARS EPISODE VII: WEEKEND AT VADER'S
The Emperor is back. In order to keep the peace, he needs to be convinced that everything is honky-dory! The only way to do that is to convince him that his old buddy Darth Vader is still alive. They do this by dragging Vader's empty suit around and pretend he's constantly had too much to drink. "You know him, perpetually mourning Padme," Han will say to explain why Vader has inexplicably slumped over during a meeting with the Empire's Admirals.
STAR WARS EPISODE VII: NOA'S ARC
Wilford Brimley reprises his role as Noa (last seen in the television film "Ewoks: The Battle for Endor"), who gets roped into helping establish the new Galactic Government that formed in the ashes of the Empire. The reluctant Noa finds himself at the center of all proceedings and is eventually made the Premiere of the new government. But all he wants is to be left alone, blast it!
STAR WARS EPISODE VII: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
Now that the Rebels have won, Luke focuses on rebuilding the Jedi order. He recruits new members and builds a new Jedi community center…until an evil developer shows up with plans to level it to the ground and replace it with a fast food restaurant. The new Jedi must come together to combat the bulldozing of their home with their newfound breakdancing moves. "No! Try not. Windmill or do not windmill. There is no try." – Grandmaster Yoda
STAR WARS EPISODE VII: DINNER WITH ACKBAR
Han Solo has dinner with Admiral Ackbar at the Mos Eisley Cantina. The film consists of a lengthy conversation between the two, with Han first griping about all the adventures he had in the first three films and how he's left that world behind him. Ackbar replies with his own view of Solo's life. The two then discuss their own individual take on life and personal world views. The film ends with them both discussing how much they dislike Jar Jar Binks.
Any of these would make for an amazing film. Indications are, though, that they'll end up doing a film that pays homage to the original trilogy by including those original characters while also introducing new elements to the cast that build to the future of the franchise.
Oh well. To each their own.
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