Hollywood’s skinny obsession is out of control. The emaciated look is fashionable, but most guys like some curves, breasts and something to hold on to. These women also make men’s lives miserable by being bad role models and setting unrealistic body image standards for our girlfriends. So if you see any of these extremely thin women, do us all a favor and give them a damn cheeseburger.
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By Nick Coles
The following article does not represent the opinions of Spike TV or its affiliates.
10. Jennifer Connelly
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Jennifer Connelly is literally half the woman she used to be. The formerly buxom brunette is now flat-chested and boney. What happened to the ample bosoms on show in The Hot Spot (see NSFW pics here)? On the press tour for The Day The Earth Stood Still, Ms. Connolly looked gaunt, starving and ghostly. It’s like the world actually ended and there's nothing left for Jennifer to eat.
9. Claire Danes
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Claire Danes has been around forever and is skinnier than ever. I saw her recently presenting at the SAG awards and it looked like they asked a giraffe to hand out a trophy. Danes is actually skinnier today than she was 14 years ago, when she played a 15-year-old sophomore on My So Called Life. Like Brad Pitt in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Danes seems to be aging backwards and today resembles a prepubescent child.
8. The Olsen Twins
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Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, who PETA affectionately refer to as the “Trollson Twins,” are known for their boho-chic look and immense power over impressionable young girls. The duo have a clothing line in Walmart for girls aged 4–14 called "Mary-Kate and Ashley: Real fashion for real girls." Mary-Kate and Ashley, a.k.a. the Twiggy-dee and Twiggy-dum of Hollywood, probably designed these clothes so they’d have something that actually fit them.
7. Victoria Beckham
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If aliens from outer space came to earth, they would think Victoria Beckham was one of their own. The Spice Girl and wife of soccer player David Beckham looks like a skeletal alien, with matchstick-thin legs and cartoonish breasts. Victoria is using the 'stress excuse' and saying her weight loss is a result of stress over her husband moving to Europe to play for AC Milan. More likely she’s stressed over moving to Italy and being seduced by pasta, pizza and pancetta.
6. Kate Moss
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The heroin chic look is the fault of Kate Moss, who popularized the emaciated look. This look isn’t natural, but she manages to look this "good" on a diet of booze and drugs. In a recent interview, Moss blamed the fashion industry for her skinny physique. She said "I didn't eat for a long time. Not on purpose. You'd be on shoots with bad food or get on a plane and the food would be so disgusting you couldn't eat it. You go to a show and there's no food at all ... I remember standing up in the bath one day and ... I was so thin! I was never anorexic ... I remember thinking, I don't want to be this skinny." Hmmm, there’s a really easy way not to be skinny – it’s called eating.
5. Lindsay Lohan
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Lindsay Lohan is back to her skinny ways. The starlet, who has battled anorexia before, has recently been photographed looking like a pole. According to Page Six, Lohan is "surviving on candy and Red Bull" and is "completely stressed out" by her rocky relationship with gal pal Samantha Ronson. This prompted a response from her people, who said "Lindsay is aware that she's lost some weight due to stress, but we recently did a photo shoot and she ate two full meals." Wow, two meals! But can you really count salad or a steamed vegetable a meal?
4. Paris Hilton
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It amazing that people think Paris Hilton is hot. The celebutante has an androgynous body, small breasts and absolutely no shape or curves. Watching her sex-tape was like watching a stick insect get punished. Over recent months the heiress has dropped even more weight and is alarmingly thin. Maybe it’s time for Paris to wash her car again.
3. Kate Bosworth
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Kate Bosworth looks like a 12-year-old boy. The super skinny star of Superman Returns and 21 is the poster child for stick-thin women. As her fame has increased, her waistline has gone the opposite direction. It’s like she is trying to be the Ally McBeal of her generation. Bosworth says she’s always been thin and uses the tired old excuse that her "slender" look is related to stress. Yeah right. Someone needs to buy the girl a cheeseburger. STAT!
2. Katrina Bowden
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Katrina Bowden is best known from her role as Liz Lemon’s sexy assistant on 30 Rock. She is a beautiful up-and-coming actress who recently ranked No. 4 on our list of the hottest women on television. Maybe this went to her head, because she continues to shed the pounds...and it’s scary. She recently appeared at an awards show looking all skin and bones. Someone needs to shove a double cheesebuger down her throat, or she'll be blown away by a strong gust of wind.
1. Keira Knightley
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Keira Kinghtley is scarily thin. She’s like a walking skeleton. She is so thin that her breasts are inverted. Recently, producers of the Pirates of the Caribbean films had to photoshop in some breasts so that audiences didn't think she was a dude. Keira says she does not have an eating disorder, saying "I'm quite sure I don't have [anorexia]. ... I've got a lot of experience with anorexia—my grandmother and great-grandmother suffered from it, and I had a lot of friends at school who suffered from it ... I know it's not something to be taken lightly and I don't." She even went as far as suing a British newspaper, which implied she had an eating disorder. Methinks the lady doth protest too much. Now, do you think she'll want fries with that?