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The Top 10 Worst Top 10 Lists

by dsussman   September 04, 2009 at 10:00AM  |  Views: 687

5. The User Poll Top 10


Source: Photographer's Choice/Getty Images

Depending on the site, you can run into some jaw-dropping choices for Top 10s that are based on readers voting for the picks that make it to the top spots. Do these really even count as legitimate Top 10s if the winners are based on cult-like users taking over voting polls? Hell no.

When TIME did voting for the most influential person of the year in 2007 it proved how flawed this system really can be. The winner was Korean R&B pop star Rain, who won by a large margin because his fans are f***ing obsessive sheep who have nothing better to do with their time. I blame TIME for giving these people the tools to accomplish this sacrilege.

4. The YouTube Top 10


Source: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images

YouTube can be fun, but the copyright and technological difficulties of the site make it a little bit difficult for the Top 10 format. Half the time, the list will feature videos that have been removed for copyright infringement. Besides, I just want to hear the song the person is talking about instead of just looking at stupid pixilated photos of the band.

It's also really strange how much people enjoy feeding the fire when it comes to some of these YouTube lists. I find it hilarious when middle-aged music fans go off on teenagers who just put King of Leon’s “Sex On Fire” as the best rock song of the last decade. It’s like two people that speak two different languages trying to have a rational discussion about politics. It’s a dead end street, people.

3. The Pretentious Top 10


Source: Mick Hutson/Getty Images

When reading a Top 10 list, nothing is more frustrating than a writer who crams an entire piece with obscure references just to show off his arcane knowledge. Is it really a legitimate Top 10 list if the entire Internet has never heard of a single pick in the article? Nope. The writers of these pieces seem to be scared to make a firm choice and stand behind their picks. Instead, they would rather protect themselves by referencing things no one's heard of. A Top 10 list is supposed to reflect the overarching opinion of the audience, not the inner workings of an elitist who thinks they're too cool for school. 

2. The Turn-the-Page Top 10


Source: Workbook Stock/Getty Images

Some of the worst Top 10 lists are the ones that make you turn a page to see every single choice in the piece. Advertisers must've been drooling when they came up with this concept: “We’ll think of a really creative idea for a Top 10 list and make readers sit through an advertisement for every choice on the list. Brilliant!”

Arrgggh! How annoying. By the time you finally get to the number one spot, you don’t even care anymore. Or, in most cases, people never make it past the third page. We get it. Making a living on the Internet is a challenge. Especially right now. But destroying the user experience is not a smart strategy for long-term success. It’s like living out They Live on the internet. Obey!

1. The Amateur Top 10


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Welcome to the Internet where any slug with a keyboard can barf out 10 things in order at will. Any human being with a blog seems to think that they have what it takes to write Top 10 lists. These lists devalue the articles of those who are really putting some thought and research into their work. People, spend some time on your articles and they'll actually gather a readership, and keep people from shying away from similar pieces of content on other sites. 

What's your most-hated type of Top 10?

Source: Stone/Getty Images