The Top 10 Worst Top 10 Lists
Well it’s finally happened. The Internet has been so oversaturated with Top 10s that we can now compile an entire list about how wrong Top 10 lists can truly be. While some rue these pieces of content, there's a reason there are so many on the internet. You read them. And here's yet another that points out the worst kinds.
10. The Painfully Timely Top 10
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Hundreds of writers online are guilty of this, even yours truly. But there are far too many "timely" lists out there that are little more than an attempt to get traffic by capitalizing on a recent death, celebrity meltdown, or dramatic news story. Bloggers are sometimes like lawyers chasing ambulances down just to get a few bucks out of a crippled client.
When Michael Jackson died, the internet instantly lost its collective s*** while TMZ flashed a gigantic grin from ear to ear. After just a few days I never wanted to see another picture, video, or news story about the man ever again. But in slutty internet fashion, hundreds of sites still tried to force MJ down our throats at every turn.
But the fault doesn't rest on websites alone. It seems bloggers have no choice but to write about these topics because people just can’t get enough of the drama.
9. The Trying Way Too Hard Top 10
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I can’t stand lists that have outrageous titles that try to entice readers to click on the link based on how shameless it is. There may be a part in all of us that wants to see the Top 10 Most Ridiculously Racist Moments in Human History, but we damn well know that it’s only because websites make the content so zany and ridiculous that we have no choice. You're probably Googling for that article right now.
I do understand that over-the-top examples like this are what make the Internet the Internet and free speech blah, blah, blah, but we really need to show a little self-control from time to time. Please try and hesitate the next time you see a title like “Shark With a Penis In Its Mouth.”
8. The Bandwagon Top 10
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When Top 10s starting hitting their peak a year or so back, major news outlets started to take notice. This created a wave of major publications trying to dip their foot into the Top 10 pool. From TIME to Spin, a lot of these websites realized immediately that what they could get away with in a magazine or newspaper most definitely did not fly on the interwebs. Why, you ask? Because with the internet, readers finally had the power to control the popularity of stories. Not only that, these internet folks are able to voice their opinions through clever comments, tearing writers down at the drop of a hat. It also made it quite clear that a lot of these commenters were actually more talented in the writing department than the so-called professionals getting paid to do it. The subset of this is the Plagiaristic Top 10. Where a major portal takes the ideas of a smaller site, twists them a little bit, and basically plagiarizes the article. We've seen slight tweaks on some of Spike.com's top 10s appear on almost all the big boys (surprisingly a week or two after they ran here). Tsk tsk.
7. The Factually Inaccurate Top 10
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How many more times will we be forced to read a Top 10 that is not only horrible, but factually inaccurate? Nothing whips users into a frenzy like an opinion article that's also filled with false information. If you are supposed to be a professional and write for a living, please do your damn research! If a 15-year-old kid from Iowa has to inform you that Nirvana’s first album was Bleach and not Nevermind, you really need to find another profession.
6. The Lazy Top 10
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Not too many are guilty of this, but there are definitely a handful of notorious sites that just throw out their choices for a list and don’t give any explanation of why they made the cut. What a crock of poop. Any idiot can make a list of crap they hate or love, but it takes some real talent to break things down in an orderly fashion and show why your views are fact and not just opinion. It's pompous to think that you can write one of these and just assume the reader is so enamored with you that they'd accept your opinion with no explanation.