In yet another shocking addition to the “professional athletes get laid more than most of us” story, recent divorcee Shaquille O’Neal decided to celebrate his upcoming alimony payments by nailing the woman whom NBA All-Star Gilbert Arenas plans to spend the rest of his life probably cheating on. (And yes sports fans, there’s raunchy e-mails to prove it.)
Just after doing his best to make sure that the Phoenix Suns missed the playoffs for the first time in almost a decade last March, O’Neal began nailing Arenas’ baby momma on several occasions throughout the country. One such encounter came after the following text messages:
Laura (Arenas’ fiancée): Just wanted to let you to know I’m here.
Shaq: Where r u?
Laura: In the hotel… About to go to sleep! u?
Shaq: What hotel and what room?
Laura: The Four Seasons, where r u?
Shaq: I just left goin to a party can I come put it in when I get back? What room u n?
Laura: Is Shaunie going with u? N how late?
Shaq: Hell no. I’m back by 1:30. Can I do it tonite and tomorrow after lunch? What floor u on?
Laura: LOL ur crazy! As long as u taste me n make me cum LOL
Shaq: What room?
Laura: So I’ll see you at 1:30 :~) erase all these messages plz.
I'm not sure how these rank with the Tiger Woods’ “I’m not going to watch Desperate Housewives after sleeping with you” texts to his mistress, but they certainly are equally entertaining.
If there’s one thing I think we’ve all learned in 2009, it’s that providing written proof of adultery is kind of a bad idea. Remember that kids. If you plan to sleep with your competitor's Swedish nanny or future wife after a little league game, do not email her about it afterwards.
Also, I think I speak for everyone when I say I really hope this doesn’t affect the chances of Kazaam II hitting theatres.
Source: Chris McGrath/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images