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The Eight Biggest Whiners in Action Movie History

by DannyGallagher   June 27, 2011 at 10:00AM  |  Views: 6,096
4. Robin from Batman and Robin



Source: Warner Bros.

Most of this massively bad entry in the then-slowly dying Batman movie franchise has been erased from my mind, like some bizarre sci-fi thought-removing ray that uses gamma radiation to poison the mind into believing that some memories aren't really there. The clinical term for it is "binge drinking."

It's hard to completely remove this early nail in the franchise's coffin before Christopher Nolan yanked them out with a crowbar, solely because of Batman's whiny sidekick. The film tries to mature Robin into a jealous, hot-headed teenager who wants to stand on his own and believes a hot supervillain really wants him all to herself, but his constant complaining and nagging just makes you wish he fell off the tightrope with the rest of his family in the previous film.


3. Willie Scott from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom



Source: Paramount Pictures

Of course, every great folk hero has to rescue a damsel in distress. Indy's second squeeze, however, makes us wish he would leave her in distress.

The ditzy blonde complains about her condition more than most burn victims in a third-world hospital. Everything around her that doesn't revolve around her is a nuisance. Having to do a modicum of walking turns her into a human car alarm. It's a wonder that Indy didn't let her become a human sacrifice to the Thuggie gods just so he could fly home in peace.


2. Marvin the Paranoid Android from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy



Source: Buena Vista Pictures

C-3P0 may have been a whiny fusspot who let everything and everyone get to him, but at least he had the programming that allowed you to shut him off every once in a while.

Douglas Adams' robotic creation, however, was designed to be one of the smartest beings in the whole of his existence but his lack of control over his own basic problems turns him into a walking, stumbling sack of sad. He groans and complains and thinks the worst of everything and everybody because he's been designed to know the ins and outs of everything and everybody. He's the electronic equivalent of C-3P0 if he had a raging Quaalude addiction.


1. Pvt. Williams Hudson from Aliens



Source: 20th Century Fox

It's hard to know how someone who is trained to be an alien ass-kicking badass can turn into one of the biggest whiners with the flick of an emotional switch. One minute, he's talking up a bigger game than LeBron James at the start of the NBA Finals and the next, he's whining more than than LeBron James at the end of it.

If you line up all of his lines from the second film, he basically goes through waves of awesome badassity and then falls off a cliff into hopeless whinocrity. If he's on your security detail, it's, well, "game over man, game over."

THE DAILY FOUR

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