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50 Ways to Update RoboCop for the 21st Century

by DannyGallagher   March 08, 2010 at 10:00AM  |  Views: 692


26. His charging station is a re-gifted charging dock from Brookstone.

27. His more salacious flashbacks with his wife are uploaded to RedTube.com.

28. The Detroit Police Department purchases RoboCop from a Sky Mall catalogue.

29. Yes, he has a HEMI.

30. The video of ED-209 falling down the stairs achieves over a million hits on YouTube.

31. He makes Cops watchable.

32. He gets laid off because of the analog-to-digital switch.

33. Chuck Norris can still kick his metallic ass.

34. He only works in "WiFi-friendly" areas.

35. A wave of congressional cutbacks to the department's budget forces RoboCop to work nights at the local 7-11 as a "Redbox" in order to make ends meet.

36. He can only read arrested suspects their rights in 140 characters or less.

37. His sidearm is operated with a click wheel.

38. Tiger Woods is cast as the "I'd buy that for a dollar" guy.

39. He is taken off street work and reassigned to desk duty as a coffee machine.

40. Murphy spirals into a depression after realizing he is used to be a husband and a wife and goes on such a huge eating binge that he can now comfortably seat a family of four and their stuff.

41. A video of him being transported back from OCP for repairs as his power slowly turns back on appears on the Internet under the heading "Murphy After Mechanic."

42. He contracts a trojan horse after spending one night with Paris Hilton.  

43. His brief stint with the TSA is cut short when he is put on metal detector duty.

44. He is reassigned to traffic duty...as a traffic light.

45. In his heart, he secretly longs to dance.

46. His communication protocols are jammed every time American Idol asks viewers to vote for their favorite singer.

47. He reveals that he has a secret sexual orientation. He's a "Transformer."

48. RoboCop will also come in a Blu-ray format. Not the movie, the actual RoboCop.

49. He is partnered with a wisecracking Michael Winslow who literally last five seconds before RoboCop gets fed up and shoots him in the face.

50. Seven words: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Robocop.

 

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