PETA Claims To Be Launching Adult Site, Probably Just More Sad Chicken Pictures

August 22, 2011

PETA is a bit like your girlfriend's obnoxious vegan “friend.” You know the one, the one who is constantly “advocating” for some political cause, so people will look at her? PETA is probably where she interned in college before dropping out to try and get on Whale Wars.

Anyway, PETA, recently realizing that crapping on fat people and running around in KKK outfits wasn't quite getting them enough hate mail, have announced that they're starting a porn site. But mostly it's pictures of animals getting hurt. They want to shock people, not realizing that anybody who goes to porn sites on the Internet have already seen things a lot worse than anything they can cough up, and probably intentionally.

PETA insists the venture is going to be all about the important purpose of getting PETA lots of attention, oh, and that also you might learn something about how animals are treated. As far as who will be on a PETA porn site, they're insisting it will be lots of “boy and girl next door” content, by which we're assuming that your girlfriend's obnoxious vegan friend will be getting naked for webcams because “it's for the animals.”

However, they refuse to rule out that celebrities might be involved. No, PETA, we think it's pretty safe to assume that even the most desperate celebrities aren't willing to do porn for free to draw attention to the plight of tasty animals. Even the worst daddy issues only go so far. But we're sure your site will get lots of attention from the “self-righteous whiny people” fetishist community.

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