The Top 10 Scariest-Looking Celebrities

October 30, 2009

Celebrities are known as the world’s most beautiful and talented people, but some grapple with addictions to drugs, alcohol, and plastic surgery that turn them into a shell of their former self. Let’s just say, this Halloween the following stars won’t need to worry about finding a costume.

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10. Amy Winehouse

Even though she’s reportedly kicked her crack addiction, the singer is still the same boozy, rude, and incoherent Amy we all know and love. Now instead of crack, alcohol is her poison of choice.  Just last week she grabbed attention for showing up late to an awards ceremony in London and interrupting Robert Plant’s acceptance speech by shouting and swearing. Later that night she stumbled out of a restaurant, failing to notice that her new fake breasts had slipped out for the entire world to see. This woman is the embodiment of a hot mess.

Can you imagine how scared little children would be if they knocked on a door for trick-or-treating and Amy Winehouse answered?

9. Madonna

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Madonna needs to eat a cheeseburger. The iconic pop star is obsessed with controlling her weight and pumping iron. She famously maintains a macrobiotic diet and reportedly works out for over two hours every day. The result is that she looks like a man (or rather, a tranny). Madonna has bigger guns than half the guys in the Spike.com office. Whatever happened to some sexy curves?

8. Cher

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In The Witches of Eastwick, Cher played a witch. Now in her golden years the aging pop diva is fast turning into one. All the signs are there, including the long black hair, her love of wigs (witches are apparently bald), her flawless complexion (a result of plastic surgery to remove all those witch warts), her big pointy shoes (to mask her square feet), and love of flowing black outfits. All Cher needs is a pointy black hat and she could be the Wicked Witch of the West. On a side note, Cher also resembles an older looking Octomom. Now that’s just frightening.

7. Mickey Rourke

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Mickey Rourke no longer looks like the man he used to be. Years of botched plastic surgery has dramatically altered his appearance. Like the guy in Face/Off, one day he just woke up with someone else’s face. His look is the combination of a beat-up boxer and a woman with too much plastic surgery. It’s scary, but he is slowly morphing into his character from Animal Factory.

Rourke blames his strange look on all the plastic surgery he received after he left acting and started a boxing career. As a boxer his face was smashed to smithereens and he had to have five operations on his nose alone. Then there was surgery to correct his pulverized cheek bones and other corrective procedures. The obvious result is Rourke’s Frankenstein-like appearance.

6. Marilyn Manson

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Marilyn Manson's image as a devil-worshipping, androgynous, emo-looking goth rocker is purportedly controversial (some blamed him for the Columbine shooting) and on the surface frightening. But, in reality, it’s really nothing more than a marketing ploy. The scariest thing about Manson is probably how boring and cookie-cutter he looks in real life.

5. Courtney Love

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The life and times of Courtney Love have been chaotic and sad. To this day the woman lives out her messy life in the public spotlight. She is seemingly very unhappy and appears to self-medicate through booze and drugs. In doing so she has become the stereotype of the pathetic, washed-up, drug-addicted rocker. If you were to pass Ms. Love on the street you’d think she was a wandering bag lady and offer her change. This woman needs serious help.

4. Carrot Top

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What the hell happened to Carrot Top? The funnyman with the trademark curly orange hair has turned into an effeminate-looking, body-building freak. It’s like he’s trying to be a real life He-Man, except he’s going for the drag queen version. The prop comedian is thought to have undergone multiple face lifts, chemical peels, and Botox injections, making his face resemble a startled cartoon character. It’s also thought that he’s been on a strict regime of steroids to pump up his relatively small frame into a hulky mass of scary muscle. The sad thing is the funnyman has now become the joke.

3. Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers’ face hasn’t moved since the late 1980s. The plastic surgery repeat offender hasn’t got a single line on her face, a remarkable feat for a 76-year-old woman. The witty comedian is probably one of the few grandmas in the world to be completely wrinkle-free. Her ironed-out, expressionless face makes her have more in common with a scarecrow than a living, breathing human being. Watching her talk is a strange experience. You can hear her distinct, raspy New York accent even if her lips don’t move. If Rivers ever wanted a last minute career change, she could probably become a ventriloquist.

2. Shane MacGowan

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Shane MacGowan’s appearance is so horrifying that it’s refreshing. There’s no way someone this ugly and scary-looking would ever make it in today’s image-conscious world. The dude looks like a freshly dug-up corpse, complete with pasty white skin, sunken dead eyes, and rotting, stumpy teeth. I wouldn’t be surprised if MacGowan was an actual zombie. His living dead look matches his die-hard lifestyle.

Renowned as a heavy drinker, MacGowan reportedly began drinking at age four, having been given booze by his aunt "on the promise he would not worship the devil." He constantly performs drunk and in a 2002 performance he even vomited on audience members. This man lives life like he’s no longer living.

1. Pete Burns

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Believe it or not, this is a dude. Singer Pete Burns (who is best known for the song "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)") has undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries, transforming him into a dude that looks like a lady. Burns is said to have spent his life’s saving on cosmetic procedures to try and fix a botched lip job.

As a British rock star, Burns is known for his flamboyant style, overt sexuality, and androgynous look. It wasn’t until he divorced his wife of 25 years that he began to change the way he looked. He maintains that he is not a transvestite and that he’s not a transvestite fetishist. He says his wardrobe choices are based on fashion and image rather than sexual enjoyment.

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