Manchester United Signs Homeless Man to Relatively Lucrative Deal

August 13, 2010

In a move that would make for a delightfully boring British play, the United Kingdom’s richest soccer team has signed a Portuguese hobo to play for them in the upcoming season. Many question the signing, though some critics contend that it's simply an awkward romance with Julia Roberts away from having Hugh Grant romantic comedy potential.

The former street tough, named Bebe,  inked the epic deal (worth about $10 million) with Manchester United earlier this week after the Portuguese national U20 coach told the team’s manager about the drifter's talent:

He was raised on the streets and that's where he learned to play his football. All the players come through youth academies now and they're all the same. Bebe is nothing like that. He's an old-fashioned player.

He learned everything that he knows on the street. He possesses a natural creativity and that could really make a difference.

He also knows that discarded pizza boxes are an excellent source of cheese and how to solicit change from wealthy bankers on their lunch break.

Photo: Comstock/Getty Images

Note: The photos in this article are being used for illustrative purposes only; any person depicted in the photos is a model.