Spike Salutes the King and Queen of Loud Sex

August 14, 2008

Kerry Norris loves her fiancè.  She loves him hard, often, and audibly.  If you don't believe me, you're welcome to ask her neighbors who've been subjected to the flesh-slapping symphony directed by these two young lovers for years.  Read on to disrobe the naked truth...

One woman told magistrates that her young daughter was left suffering nightmares and bed wetting because of what she had heard.

Other witnesses described having to take time off work because of the sleepless nights caused by their neighbor.

What must they have been doing!?  Seriously, if you think you know message me on my Spike profile.  Send diagrams.  Anyway, it's good to know there are people out there - people with giant balls and firm, playful breasts - fighting (and *$#(ing) for our right to love the way we want to love. 

And now the afterglow of the story:

Norris's hearing last week heard that the couple's sex sessions had been known to last until 6am.

She had also been known to sunbathe naked in the garden in full view of workmen, it was claimed.

But she told the court: "I have a normal sex life".

Though Norris was defiant to the end, her fiancè was (paradoxically) a little more of a submissive considering his history of below-the-waist aggression.  He accepted the court's ruling that he was to stay 100 meters from his fiance's building for 21 days, he was not to make any threatening remarks to any of her neighbors, and he and his fiance were ordered to pay a total of about $600 in fines.