The Top 7 Powers We'd Like to See in Heroes

October 14, 2008

Heroes is one of the more awesome TV shows to come out in awhile. Unlike shows about one man with a superhuman power, it has a large cast with a wide variety of superpowers. And yet, for all the awesomeness, there are still a number of superpowers we think ought to be in the show that have not yet been explored. So if you're reading, Tim Kring, write all of these into some upcoming episodes.

7. Physical Alteration

This may be the most obvious absence from the entire Heroes world. The comic book world is filled with people who can turn themselves into ice, fire, sand, water, stone, metal, clay, etc. Why can nobody in the Heroes universe do the same? Even one or two of these powers would be a useful addition, but we'd really like to see someone who can do all of the above. Picture a man who can turn himself into metal for a fight, then into water to escape, and into pure fire just because it looks cool. Heck, even turning yourself into sand looks cool:


6. Hurricane Breath

Sure, we've been bombarded with candidate speeches in the weeks leading up to the election, but how about a real blowhard? Everyone loves seeing those TV weathermen tossed about in high winds, so why not give the people what they want? Superman had this ability, but then again, Superman had most abilities, and we're sick of his monopoly. Heroes is more interesting than Superman because everyone has most ability. At least until other people start stealing/borrowing it. (Sylar and Peter Petrelli, we're looking at you.)


5. Bird Control

They've already had a man who can heal plants, and two people who can talk to machines. Is it so much to ask for someone who has control over the animal kingdom? Birds seem like the natural choice. They're everywhere, they can drop bombs on their targets, and they can keep up with any of those heroes that fly. Also, if you don't think birds are scary, check this out:


4. Self-Replication

Multiple Man was one of the most interesting mutants ever to grace the X-Men. Rather than have a power that shoots beams of something, or some other variation on "My power is to hurt people more,",Multiple Man can make many copies of himself. He's literally a one-man army, and that's just something entertaining to watch. We finally got to see, briefly, a decent live-action version of this in one of The Matrix films. But we're hungry for more. And what better foe for Peter Petrelli – one man with many powers – than many men born from the same one power? Imagine something like the scene below, but rather than Neo doing kung fu, you'd have Petrelli bringing his full range of powers to bear:


3. X-ray vision

Another one from Superman's set of powers. But this isn't just any old random power. This is the power that every red-blooded American male has wanted ever since he was five years old: The power to see through women's clothes. This is the power that crappy catalogs lured us with, promising that for a few dollars, they would send us X-ray specs to let us see what we wanted. And those bastards lied to us, the glasses didn't work. But Tim Kring has a chance to make it up to us, and let us live vicariously through one lucky man. Make it happen, Tim.


2. Seduction

Who is the most powerful in a world of superheroes? Naturally, it's the person that they are all in love with. So why haven't we seen an evil seductress? Someone that can stand in front of a room full of supermen, and bend them all to her will. We're not just suggesting this because we like seeing hot women being seductive on camera and it reminds us a lot of a porno film. We're also suggesting this because…. Wait, what were we saying? Sorry, we got distracted. Anyway, the point is that Heroes needs a woman who can make all the other heroes swoon. Someone like this, only hotter:


1. Colossal Size

There's a big gap in the list of Heroes superpowers. Literally, a "big" gap – why is there nobody whose power is to become bigger? This is one of the more classic superpowers often seen in cartoons and campy old sci-fi movies where the special effects are horrible. We're in the 21st century now, and special effects have come a long way, so why not do this justice? If you're looking to fill out a vllain roster, you could do a lot worse than a 50-foot woman: