The Top Seven Movie Nerds Who Deserved To Get Bullied

February 16, 2010

These days it’s common to sympathize with the nerd character in movies. But the truth is that sometimes a nerd comes along who deserves the bullying he gets, and you can’t help but wish he’d gotten pushed around just a little bit more.

Source: Buena Vista Pictures

 

7. Brian from The Breakfast Club

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Source: Universal Pictures

Okay, so Brian seems pretty harmless on the surface. He’s geeky, he’s funny, and he has a predilection for movies starring Molly Ringwald. But when it comes right down to it he’s a menace to the kids around him. He brought a firearm to school for Christ’s sake! What this kid needs is not understanding, it’s more oppression and psychological torment to keep him in his place. When the nerds start rebelling against society you’re in danger of violent outbreaks, and Brian is just another sad instance of a nerd who hasn’t been bullied enough to instill the fear of obsequiousness into him. Unfortunately, his day of detention did nothing to improve his chances of becoming socially acclimated to his proper nerd status.

 

6. Peter Parker in Spider-Man

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Source: Columbia Pictures

If there’s one person who shouldn’t be granted the gift of super-strength and lightning fast reflexes, it’s this nerd. But that’s exactly what happens with Peter Parker: a radioactive spider bites him and suddenly he’s able to start s*** up with every bully, thief, and scientist in town. I mean, come on! The kid provokes people! Maybe if Harry Osborn, or even the jerk in the goatee, had bullied him a little more he would’ve had less and he’d never have even gone on the field trip where the spider bit him.

Once Peter Parker realized the power he had, he was beating people up, getting between father and son, stealing girlfriends, and exacting revenge on second-rate, non-violent offenders. Is this really what we look for in a superhero? Of course, it’s only natural that the bullied nerd would himself become a bully the first chance he got. Which is why it’s the bully’s job to make sure the nerds never get the opportunity to wreak havoc on the world. Hell hath no fury like a nerd scorned.

 

5. Max Fischer in Rushmore

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Source: Buena Vista Pictures

Max Fischer is pretty much the poster child for at-risk youth. The kid’s a terrible student, he stalks girls, he destroys school property in the name of personal projects, he puts on inappropriate school plays, is almost guilty of vehicular manslaughter, and even fires on his fellow students with BB guns. This is a nerd who needs discipline. In fact, it’s only when Magnus punches him in the face and Mr. Blume puts him in jail for a bit that his behavior begins to improve. But in the end he endangers an entire gymnasium full of people with a play that exposes them to dynamite, flamethrowers, and other dangerous explosives. This is a nerd who’s going to get someone killed if he’s not knocked down a peg or two. Bullying this nerd is a public service every fire inspector in the country would approve of.

 

4. Dignan in Bottle Rocket

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Source: Columbia Pictures

 Dignan’s a pretty imaginative guy, and he’s a loyal friend, too. But he is a profoundly stupid nerd and he has all the worst intentions. It’s his life ambition to become an expert thief but he can’t even steal his best friend Anthony’s mom’s earrings without getting caught. The only person who tries to set Dignan and his idiot crew on the right path is their getaway driver Bob’s older brother, Future Man. Future Man kicks Bob’s ass and makes fun of Dignan’s yellow jumpsuit and his lawn mowing business, but it’s just not enough. In the end Dignan winds up where he belongs: behind bars. Sometimes all the bullying in the world isn’t enough to make a bad nerd good.

 

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3. Flounder in Animal House

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Source: Universal Pictures

Kent Dorfman, better known to his Delta Tau Chi brothers as Flounder, represents everything that can go disastrously wrong with a nerd. In his defense, though, he did try to pledge with the straight-shooting boys of Omega Theta Pi, only to be turned away to the geek section of the pledge party. He and his best friend Lawrence Kroger (a.k.a. Pinto) were forced to pledge with Delta when it became clear they had no chance with the preppies next door.

But that’s no excuse for the domestic terrorism he becomes complicit in as a member of Delta. Things start off bad for Flounder and only get worse. To begin with, he is party to horse murder when he and Bluto pull a prank on Neidermeyer, a patriotic officer of the ROTC who later gives his life in Vietnam (even if he does happen to get killed by his own troops). In the end he helps sabotage a parade in honor of President Kennedy, a tragic foreshadowing of the assassination to come. Dean Vernon summed up Flounder’s pathetic existence best when he said, “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”

 

2. George McFly in Back to the Future

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Source: Universal Pictures

Sometimes a nerd is so nerdy that no matter how much you encourage or bully him, he is going to adversely affect the course of time. This is definitely the case with George McFly. The guy really can’t do anything right. Even when his own son travels back in time to try and get him a date, and even when what he believes to be an extraterrestrial threatens his life, he still doesn’t have the balls to ask Lorraine out.

Okay, so right about now people are probably saying, “Yeah, but he saved her from Biff.” Yeah, he did – but not on purpose! He thought he was going to  pretend to save Lorraine from Marty. If he’d had any idea whatsoever what lay in store for him, do you think he would have hesitated from taking off in the opposite direction? He would’ve been back at the punch bowl faster than you can say, “You’re my density.”

Ultimately, George McFly is a nerd who puts the bully in his place, and for that he must be commended. But before his son travelled back in time to force him into getting the girl, his entire family was made up of losers. Only a nerd would require time travel to get his loser family in order.

 

1. Louis in Ghostbusters

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Source: Columbia Pictures

Louis Tully is one of those nerds who will do anything to get other people’s approval. And he damn near tears apart the civilized world in doing so. Constantly spurned by his sexy neighbor Dana, he succumbs to a demon, Vinz Clortho, that takes over his body and opens a rift in space that allows the evil god Gozer to take a swing at annihilating New York City. And all of this just so that Louis could get some play from Dana. That’s seriously depressing. Next time hire a working girl, buddy.

 

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