BMS Presents - Thad's Favorite Sex Manswers

by spike.com   December 08, 2010 at 6:25PM  |  Views: 35,592

Everything you've always wanted to know about sex but were too sober to ask.

In case you didn't know, sex is important. Like, super important. Science says if there was no such thing as sex, you wouldn't even be here. Spooky, right?

And trying to get laid takes up a lot of free time for people like you and me. Okay, just for people like you. But even I spend at least as much time actually having sex as you probably do chasing it. So when Manswers needed to answer questions about boinking, guess who they called? Me!

Problem is, I missed the calls because my phone doesn't get service in the cheerleaders' locker room. But you know what does get service in there? I don't think I have to tell you.

I can't wait to see what they came up without me in the new season of Manswers. Good thing I only have to wait until TONIGHT! But in the meantime, here are my favorite Manswers about my favorite subject.

 

5. How have guys gotten a Happy Ending at high-class massage parlors?

Remember, the trainer's table is a bad place to ask for a happy ending. Even as a joke. Nobody as old as that guy thinks it's funny.

 

4. What's the best time of day to get laid?

As far as I'm concerned, the only bad time to get laid is at a family reunion.

 

3. What's the guaranteed way to make your penis bigger?

So, look you guys, I didn't need this or anything. I thought it was interesting, you know, as a topic, and thought my loyal fans would want to know. It was just a public service. Why? What have you heard?

 

2. Are women with fake boobs hornier?

I wish they'd answer my real question. "Are girls with fake boobs more likely to think it's funny when I squeeze them and make car horn noises"? 

 

1. What kind of girls are best in bed?

This is a subject I will need to probe further, because I've done the research here. Let me tell you, I came upon a different conclusion. Several times.

So listen, if you ever turn your TV off Spike, which you really shouldn't, you gotta make sure you flip back at 10PM/9c. That's when the new Wednesday Night lineup goes down. It starts with a new 1000 Ways to Die, then the season premiere of Manswers. After that, it's an all-new Blue Mountain State where I have to face the most important decision of my life. Here's how serious we're talking: It involves boning Stacy Keibler.

THE DAILY FOUR

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