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The Top Seven Bear Fights in Movie History

by nathanbloch   June 02, 2009 at 8:40PM  |  Views: 1,891

There are several kinds of scenes that we’ve come to expect from the movies. You have the Stuff Blowing Up scene, the Moving Moment scene, and the Boy Gets the Girl scene. But let’s not forget the most important kind of scene any movie can have: the Bear Fight. The Bear Fight is the ultimate showdown of man vs. nature, and it’s a rite of passage for any hero worth his salt. A man without a bear fight is no man at all.

7. Semi-Pro

When Jackie Moon (Will Ferrell) fights Dewie the Bear we get to see what happens when stupid comes into contact with claws. Moon doesn’t win, but he fulfills a responsibility so many characters in so many films neglect. He makes a good faith effort to fight a bear and we love him for it, even if he has his ass handed to him by said bear. He barely escapes with his life, but he teaches the bear a valuable lesson: Humans might be easy to eat, but they’re annoying to kill.

6. The Golden Compass

Bear-on-bear violence is the most tragic of all, but that’s exactly what it devolves to in The Golden Compass. While we’d like to cheer the painful demise of Ragnar Sturlusson, instead we’re left with feelings of loss and senseless tragedy. Sometimes bear-on-bear fights are unavoidable, but it doesn’t make them any less heart-wrenching.

5. On Deadly Ground

The bear fight in On Deadly Ground combines two of the best things in all of cinema: Steven Seagal and bear fights. Thus, the bear fight in this film is arguably the closest you will ever see a movie come to perfection.

Naysayers will point out that this bear fight technically occurs during a vision quest brought about by an Indian witch doctor. So -- if we were to get really nit-picky -- Seagal really doesn’t fight a bear at all. And, to be fair to the bear, Seagal also technically loses. In fact, the fight only lasts, like, 10 seconds before the bear shakes Seagal off like a ponytailed pansy.

None of which information takes away from the salient message of this scene: When it comes to fighting bears, Seagal is not afraid. In fact, it’s a good thing this bear fight ended as quickly as it did. ‘Cause if it that bear hadn’t won so fast, he would’ve lost way worse than Seagal.