5 - The Food - Bro. The protein! Where is the protein? I had to look all over just to find somewhere to make me a protein shake. And when I finally got it, it wasn't even good, bro.
4 - The Gyms – O. M. G. Wow. The gyms there suck. No wonder nobody is jacked round these parts, because all the equipment sucks. It's all old, dirty, and smells like English people.
3 - Bad Breath - Why does everyone here have funky teeth? They're all yellow and brown and deformed. Eww, it's gross. And it's not just the dudes, most of the girls do also, which is why I wasn't interested. Besides I have a girl now anyway and she is a 15 out of 10, bro. Only girl that has ever made the LIST.
2 - The Driving - The whole wrong side of the road thing is weird, man. Driving on the left side instead of the right. I don't get it. Why not just be like America, bro? Every limo I have been driven in has made me sick to my stomach cause of being on the other side of the road. It's super weird.
1 - The Talking - Why do English people speak so weird? They pronounce cigarette, banana and many other words really weird. And what does fancy, proper, mate and all these other made up ways to use words do for them? It's all just hamsterish.
Anyway… that's all I got to say about that bro... until next week... OH...YOU AINT ON THE LIST BRO!
See when IMPACT WRESTLING is coming to a city near you at www.impactwrestling.com
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