Mantenna - Friday, October 15

October 15, 2010

Snooki’s battle with the bulge may lead to a fatter bank account, the Insane Clown Posse find God, and an attractive television reporter is vowing to never enter a room with a 70-1 guy-girl ratio ever again. The Mantenna will always have a place at the Dairy Queen.Photo: Gregg DeGuir/WireImage/Getty Images

Insane Clown Posse Really Evangelical Christians?

Apparently, the fans of the Insane Clown Posse (affectionately known as Juggalos) were supposed to find some hidden meaning behind all the F-bombs shouted by lead singer Violent J through the years. According to the group, ICP is not about sex, violence, drugs, and Faygo. They’ve been a christian rock group all along. The band (and we use that term very loosely) released a song some time ago called Thy Unveiling where it explains that it’s tricked its fans into following Jesus. Amidst 32 F-bombs, 11 cases of using the word s***, and a “Suck My Nuts, B****! F*** You!” you’ll find the following passage: May the Juggalos find god! He’s out there! He’s out there! ICP has recently been doing press where they've explained that they are in fact attempting to expose their fans to god. As you might imagine, the Juggalos are not too happy. After basing their pathetic existence on a group of talentless clowns (literally), they’ve now come to discover that it was all a ruse. But hey, if you’re placing all your hopes on a group of dudes who are mesmerized by magnets, then you get what’s coming to you. [The Guardian UK]

Snooki Offered Weight Loss Help Without Even Asking

Following her portrayal on South Park as a sex-obsessed, chubby gremlin, a national weight loss company has stepped in and offered her some help on an issue she seems perfectly happy not addressing. “ -- a diet company -- claims it's outraged the show mocked Snooki's issues with obesity ... so they've offered Snooks a cut of the profits and a free year's supply in exchange for a "glowing testimonial," reports TMZ. If every company that sold a product capable of improving her appearance/sexual deviancy, Snooki could become the Ron Popeil of the reality world. [TMZ]

Shia LaBeouf’s Paparazzi Brew-haha

Shia LaBeouf has been caught on camera throwing a cup of coffee at a paparazzi photographer. The 24-year-old actor was sitting reading at a cafe in Washington DC when he decided to really stick it to the paparazzi. The Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps star was videotaped packing up his belongings and quickly walking towards an older, male photographer. The photographer started to run and the action hero in LaBeouf came to life. He picked up speed and hurled his cup of Joe at the overweight paparazzi, dousing the back of the guy's shirt. LaBeouf then daintily fled the scene. The actor is currently in Washington DC filming Transformers 3. [Gawker]

Photo: Victor Chavez/WireImage/Getty Images

Sexy Television Reporter is Taking Her Boobs and Going Home/to the Sidelines

Ines Sainz – the reporter who felt sexually harassed at a New York Jets practice - doesn’t feel like putting herself at risk anytime soon. “I'm not going into the locker rooms anymore," she said Thursday at a news conference near Universal Studios. "It's not a good place right now for me. I don't want to be in there.” Apparently Rex Ryan does not “keep the ladies coming back for more” as previously assumed. [Statesman]

John Elway: Quarterback, Legend, Ponzi Scheme Victim

John Elway was one of the best quarterback in NFL history at reading defenses and making smart decisions. The same can not be said for his recent investment strategy. According to NPR “Elway and a business partner lost $15 million investing in [a fraudulent] ‘hedge fund.’ Sixty-five others invested about $71 million more. Elway and his partner are asking for their money to be returned to them ahead of everyone else.” Where was his offensive line to protect him on this one? [NPR]

Teens Really Like to Text

Teenagers are literally texting their life away. A new report shows that the average teenager sends about 3,339 text messages a month. To break it down, that’s an average of six texts every waking hour. The study conducted by Nielsen analyzed the cell phone data habits of 60,000 cell phone subscribers and interviewed over 3,000 teens. When broken down into sex, teenage girls are the worst text offenders. They send on average a staggering 4,050 texts a month compared to 2,539 texts for teenage males. The next age group in the study, those age 18 to 24, send only 1,630 texts on average a month. On the flip side, actual phone calls are down 14 percent among teenagers. [Mashable]

Man Hits 500K Gamerscore, 0K Life Score

If you’re like most people, your gamerscore on Xbox Live falls somewhere between 0 and 10,000 points. Not content to be like everyone else who, you know, does something else in life besides play video games, Stallion83 from has hit the half-million point threshold. To put it in perspective, if you stretch out the text of all his achievements into one word it’s well over one quarter of a mile long. At this point we’re guessing he’s at least twice that far from reaching second base with a living, breathing female. He chronicles his classic struggle on a minute-to-minute basis, so head on over to his site to read stirring entries like, “My cat is drinking all my water” or “Pushups then shower. Hungry also.” []

Check out previous installments of Mantenna:

Thursday, October 14

Wednesday, October 13

Tuesday, October 12

Monday, October 11

Friday, October 8

...or see the rest of the archive!