Americans are obsessed with big things. We like big cars, giant flat screen TVs, and supersized meals. But what about the size of our "package"? While the saying, “It's not the size that matters, it's how you use it” is quaint and cute, it’s hardly manly. It’s no wonder some 45% of guys currently want a bigger package.
Photo: Peter Dazeley/Photographer's Choice RF/Getty Images
10. Lose Weight
Photo: Maria Rutherford/Workbook Stock/Getty Images
Obesity is a huge problem in the United States with one third of men clinically obese. Losing weight won’t make your penis bigger, but it will surely make it seem bigger. This is because there’s a pad of fat that’s located at the base of the penis. For overweight dudes this area is large and provides the perfect place for the penis to hide when erect. If you lose this fat, your penis loses its hiding place and has no excuse to stay buried. It will magically look bigger and all you’ve done is take steps to improve your health and sex life. It is also one of the most cost-effective ways to beef up your bayonet.
9. Pop Some Pills
Source: Visuals Unlimited/Getty Images
There are numerous pills and ointments sold by shady Internet shonksters that promise the world but most actually deliver very little. These pills contain an array of exotically named herbs and extracts, but according to scientific studies they have no effect on making your little soldier a big soldier.
Dr. Ira Sharlip, a spokesman for the American Urological Association, has said, “There is no such thing as a penis pill that works. These are all things that are sold for profit. There's no science or substance behind them.” Such pills could also make you sick. The University of Maryland studied 10 penis enlargement pills and found they contained “mold, yeast, dangerous E. coli bacteria, pesticides, and lead,” all which could make you very sick.
But while penis pills most likely don’t work, they may have a placebo effect and trick you into thinking you’re bigger. At the end of the day, being a man is all about having confidence. If popping a sugar pill makes you feel more virile, bigger, and less afraid of the bedroom or locker room, then why not try it?
8. Get Pumping with a Penis Pump
Source: Handbuch der Sexualwissenschaften
The Penis Pump has existed for well over a century. The device is mainly used by men who suffer erectile dysfunction, though it can also be used to make the penis temporarily appear bigger. It works by creating a vacuum around the penis, engorging it with blood. Tom Lue, MD, a professor of urology at the University of California San Francisco, says “if you use a pump regularly for a long time, your penis may get fatter. But if you stop using it, the swelling will disappear.”
Another study found that frequent use of a penis pump did increase penis size. The Institute of Urology in London investigated the usefulness of penis pumps to correct penile curvature and found that it actually increased length. Thirty-one men undertook two 10-minute pumping sessions per day for 12 weeks. The results of the study concluded “there was a clinically and statistically significant improvement in penile length, angle of curvature, and pain after 12 weeks of using the vacuum pump.”
But before you start pumping, be warned. Excessive pumping can cause vascular damage, burst blood vessels, leave blisters, and cause you to go permanently limp. And whatever you do, don’t try this with your vacuum cleaner.
7. Date Very Small Women
Source: Hulton Archive/Getty Images
It’s all about proportion—the smaller your lady-friend’s body is, the bigger you’ll seem. All joking aside, the majority of girls don’t even like big penises. Remember, women are not biologically built for a long penis. It makes no difference to them if you’re nine inches or five inches. This is because it’s only the first two inches of the vagina that can be stimulated and induce pleasure. So in reality your penis only needs to be a fraction bigger that two inches, anything more and it isn’t going to add much to her sexual experience. So stop worry about Mr. Harry Johnson and get working it.
Photo: Cavan Images/ Digital Vision/Getty Images
This technique is considered advanced in the penile enlargement world and is not intended for beginners. Clamping is a risky and dangerous way to increase your wiener’s girth. The technique involves trapping blood in the penis. An everyday clamp, the sort you can pick up at your local hardware store, is attached to the base of the erect penis. Think of it as a sort of tight cock ring.
The clamp restricts blood leaving the penis, while still allowing some blood to flow into it. The technique engorges the penis, expanding it beyond its normal erection state. By continually expanding the penis with this method, the expansion will supposedly become permanent.
Each clamping session should last five to 10 minutes. It's important to keep a high level of arousal during this time. If your member starts to feel pain, numbness, tingles, or turns an extremely dark color, the clamp should immediately be removed.
Source: Lucido Studio/Flickr/Getty Images
Using weights to make your pecker bigger is one of the oldest penis enlargement practices in the world. Heck, the Pharaohs in Ancient Egypt apparently tied weights to their member in the hopes it would add size. This method was also used by African tribes 2,000 years ago. Yep, since the dawn of time men have tried to make their members bigger.
Using weights on your Johnson is not like pumping iron at the gym. The penis is not a muscle and this practice does not involve lifting the weight. Rather the weights are used to stretch the tunica albuginea and other tissues of the penis, making it hang better and allowing more blood to flow when engorged. A device made of rope or a strap is attached to the penis gland and weights are attached. The weights range from 1/16 pound to the heaviest which are usually 1/4 pound or more. The weights are not cheap and retail for around $1,000.
According to tests carried out by penile weights manufacturers (if you can believe they’re impartial) men wearing penile weights 12 hours a day, 7 days a week for 4 ½ months gained 1.25 inches in length. Using weights on the penis will not increase the girth of the penis. In fact it may actually reduce it. Using weights can also be extremely dangerous and can actually cause more harm than good, such as nerve damage, chronic pain, and impotence.
Photo: Walker and Walker/Digital Vision/Getty Images
Jelqing is a form of penis massage that folklore has it originated in the Middle East and resulted in men “growing” their penis up to 20 inches. Now this is most likely fairy dust and the only scientific evidence that it works consist of a bunch on guys on the Internet who swear by it. The method apparently increases penis length and girth by forcing more blood into the corpora cavernosa, which is the spongy tissue that makes up the penis.
The exercise is strange and seems more like a half-hearted attempt at masturbation. The first step of the exercise is to apply a hot compress to your crotch. Once you've sufficiently warmed up the area, begin by making an OK sign with your hand. Then apply lubricant to your semi-erect penis. For some reason, under no circumstances should you jelq a fully erect penis. Then proceed to “milk” the penis by grasping it at the base near the pubic bone and moving in an upward direction to the base of the penis head. Do not jelq the penis head. The exercise should be performed 100 – 200 times a day.
Scientifically the effects of this exercise are unknown, though one study is routinely touted online. It was apparently conducted by a Dr. Brian Richards and published in the British Journal of Sexual Medicine, though the article is suspiciously missing from journal’s website. The study, apparently conducted in the 1970s, found that jelqing increased the penis size of 87 percent of the men participating in the study, with each gaining an average of 1.4 inches in length and up to one inch in girth.
3. Use a Penis Extender
A penis extender may resemble a medieval torture device, but it’s actually a medical apparatus that’s attached to the penis and stretches it. It keeps the penis in a constant state of traction. This supposedly causes cells in the penis to divide and expand. It’s suggested the device be worn daily for five to eight hours for a minimum of six months.
Some research shows that this method actually works. A study conducted at the University of Turin and published in 2009 in the British Journal of Urology showed that men gained about an inch of penis length over a six month period using a penis extender. It should be noted that the male candidates involved in the study all had below average penile dimensions. It is not scientifically known whether the method produces a similar result for average-sized men.
Source: Walker and Walker/Digital Vision/Getty Images
Having your penis surgically enhanced is a drastic but increasingly common procedure. It is also the only measure to make your member permanently larger. There are two types of surgeries men can have performed, one to make the penis longer and the other to increase girth.
The penis is made longer by cutting a ligament that holds the penis to the pubic bone and utilizing man’s “hidden penis.” It is said that one-third to one-half of the penis exists inside the body. This procedure can add one to two inches. Increasing the girth of the penis is a little more complicated. The girth procedure involves injecting skin tissue into the penis. This course of action can increase girth by staggering thirty to fifty percent.
According to Philadelphia’s Dr. Mark Solomon the surgery costs roughly $6,000 a procedure. He should know. Philadelphia is reportedly the penis enlargement surgery capital of the world.
Source: Eco Images/Universal Images Group/Getty Images
For guys, shaving “down there” is still somewhat of a taboo. While society deems it perfectly okay for women to go completely bald, men feel they need to encase their member in a bushy forest. Apparently only 15 percent of men admit to pruning their pubes. Guys have the choice of either manscaping or going the porn star route by removing all hair. By clipping the hedges you can make your member look one to two inches longer.
There’s an added advantage to manscaping-- it will also make sex feel better. By removing the extra padding you’ll help expose the sensitive skin around the base of your shaft which will help heighten sexual intercourse. Also it’s highly likely that your partner will like your cleaner, smoother, and better smelling heat-seeking love missile—and we all know what that means.
If you are going for a close shave or taking it all off, be sure to apply a soothing cream afterwards to avoid pimples and itches. After all, you don’t want your partner thinking you have an STD.
If after all this you’re still worried about what’s between your legs, the real problem probably exists between your ears.