Tiger Woods Takes Time Off From Sleeping With Hot Wife To Win Golf Tournament

September 14, 2009

In a shocking turn of events that golf analysts are calling "exactly what we expected to happen," the world's number one golfer walked into the BMW Championship and left with a shiny trophy to bring home to his annoyingly hot wife.

In front of a confused television audience that forgot to watch week one of the NFL regular season, Tiger Woods claimed his sixth tournament title of the 2009 golf season with an eight stroke win over an especially bald looking Jim Furyk and an Australian guy named Marc Leishman - whose mother was very proud of him.

Woods, who makes the bulk of his money as a television commercial actor, walked away with a hefty paycheck and came one step closer to winning the Fed Ex Cup - which will give the Gillette frontman  $10 million to tip his butlers with and buy arch rival and doughnut enthusiast Phil Mickelson that sports bra he’s had his eye on.

Source: Karen Bleier/Getty Images